Today is Michael's Burial. I won't be there. It's in the village where he grew up and not only am I not up for travel, but he believed that after he is gone, this is only a body not him. I am respecting that, while also respecting his parents' need for a service. I also said my farewells months ago. But their village

I don't think I mentioned it, but I kept saying for about 35 years that I suck at drawing and so I didn't really try much. Having this weird urge to be perfect at first try or I am just not good at it. Anyway I got myself a sketchbook and sometimes I doodle in it. No matter if it is good or bad I just do it. And it's actually fun.

I haven't seen a blood pressure of 127/97 in years.. I like that. Also going from like 189/100 to that in no time explains why I am so bloody cold despite the heat being on LOL

I wish I could just snap my finger and my apartment is cleaned up and the way I want it. I don't know why it is so hard for me to just "do the thing"... why am I broken? I mean I know why (thanks ADHD), but whyyyyyy whine

Another doctor visit done. To all of our surprise my liver is not as fatty, just a bit. With my massive weight gain and all I expected it to be worse. I got gallstones but so far they don't cause trouble. According to the doctor they either will keep not doing that or send me into agony and all I can do is wait. Comforting, not. lol We upped

Today is what would have been our 24th anniversary. I can't even put in words how that makes me feel. but it isn't great

Ashh Blackwood (@ashh.blackwood) • Instagram reelI keep coming back to this song ever so often whenever I feel overwhelmed. So I'm sharing it with you guys!

if anyone needs fascist free soapInstagram

Instagramlol google life hack

Hate living alone, doom braining is too easy like that and too hard to snap out of.