Best part of my latest bookstore haul

Feeling pretty Dorceless today. Maybe even a bit Loric

"Yes, he was a terrible person, a corrupt politician, a scumbag of a husband and a traitor to his country...but damn did he have cool pens"

Boomers be like "young people and their participation trophies" as if their generation were NOT the very people that invented those trophies for us

Do y'all ever just cut the plants around your residence to an evenly uniform height to appease old white women in other residences, but unknowingly kick up a bunch of plant sperm that you breath in and have your respiratory system clogged by, and call it "allergies"

Mowing my lawn like the unquestioning self-hating suburbanite that I am

I went to a really fancy private diner for my friend's bachelor party tonight. Our server, full suit and bowtie, at least 80 years old, served us our food, and then said with a completely straight face that he was going to go home and watch hamster porn

Why does anyone bring macaroni salad to any event. what the frickfrackery

Based on a dream revelation