"White people have no culture" well explain Arnold Palmer then

Succession on the TV downstairs while I'm tryna work upstairs...what I get is that if they stop making clever quips for more than 10 seconds, they die immediately

I'm trying to move this summer to get closer to my job, now my company says they're moving buildings "sometime this year"

Drinking a chocolate Frosty that melted for an hour, refrozen in my freezer, then defrosted to semi-liquid form again

Get you a lover that looks at you like my sleep paralysis demon looks at my life-size cutout of Bob Ross at 3am

Neighbors just forced me to watch them steam live crabs. I don't belong here

DUCK

Legen of Zegen: Tears for Fears gets a rating from me. A solid out of 10. One of the games I've ever played.

Thinking bout climbing a tree today, who's joining me

Our neighborhood fox had children