Got slammed with a migraine yesterday that hasn't let up yet, throwing off a bunch of plans; but DID manage to have a dream where I was starting to tag in and someone commented "Why bother, you know you're not actually going to". So now I want to cry. But maybe more determined to do it.

Okay. Today is clearly a day off. Hopefully I can tag, not sure bc 🧠🌩️⚡️ but I’ve been DESPERATE to, I keep making RP themed playlists and little silly pictures (have a filtered and re-lit Teddy (/JB) and a [lazily, that scar should be way less new but ...phone editing] manipped Mouse:

(next day: turning this into a catchall itc) My. God. Just got done with work and I started at like noon.
Welp. if I get kicked out of the game at least I have a paycheck...? and a lot of half written tags/TLs in Apple Notes.

I never do these ‘what do you like about me’ memes because they TERRIFY ME and I’M AWKWARD but please know that if you can read this: I think you are terribly interesting and way too cool for me, and your characters and writing are delightful and make me have feels and I want to be playing with them AS WE SPEAK instead of editing ❤️

omfg work today has been like "you thought you had nothing to do WELL, what if we drop something urgent on you just as you start to tag JUST KIDDING! HAHA you're fine." .... "HEY SO -wait never mind" .... "MMM--no you're okay"

So this, plus a task that’s SO BADLY WRITTEN that I’m like an hour over the time on task for reviewers and turned off my clock, is how my day is going (I’ve been doing this since like 10am):

Mehhh. Seizures. Tingly and myoclonics all over and like I can FEEL the too-much happening in my skull.
It’s making me really SAD. and GRUMPY. boring. annoying. someone come nap with me.

adjsfl i JUST got done with work. my brain is like. vibrating with so much i want to tag and tl and talk about and i'm also just DEAD. WHY

catchall for today even though insomnia caught me so I’m about to crash. got Teddy on FMK which is delightful (...more in comments)

WHY AM I SO BAD AT ACTUALLY DOING THINGS I LIKE
Or just, why am I SO unable to stop doing a thing until it’s done even if it’s not the Main Event. It’s like I don’t trust that time will ever exist again. (Yeah, yeah, I realize I have AuDHD and I’m stressed but!!)