The thing with these relationships is you just have to believe each other and assure one another, like "we both feel the same way." "I feel the same way about you as you do with me. We are connected. We are connected. We are connected." And then a certain point they look at you and go "Oh! I've been pretending. We are not connected."

And then you have to parse the relationship to try to figure out when they started pretending. And then eventually except the fact that some of the most cherished memories of your life may have been a grift.

There's a point in every single undercover-cop case (relationship) where you watch the target get suspicious. They go crazy, they get paranoid. Reading to much into every detail of every day. I got anxious, needy, and insecure. You might be thinking "Oh just be yourself, mate." Be yourself in a relationship? What if they don't like you, man.

What if every relationship you've ever been in is somebody slowly figuring out they didn't like you as much as they hoped they would?

愛不到我最想要愛的人，誰還能要我怎樣呢？
施人誠的詞，周杰倫的曲，陳小春/林宥嘉的詮釋。

I heard that you're happy without me and I hope it's true. It kills me a little, that's okay cause I'll die for you.