NemesisPrime says Apr 18, 2009 01:01PM I would have to agree that your Wife should be your choice, without question, doubt or hesitation.
NemesisPrime says Apr 18, 2009 01:01PM I am just wondering what your job is, that is taking so much of your time and energy ??
TK☠ Apr 18, 2009 01:35PM That's a really easy choice. You girls had better learn this lesson... Dun give guys this sort of choice
TK☠ Apr 18, 2009 01:37PM Even if u get what u want, you risk him being dissatisfied with u if he doesn't land another job or better.
NemesisPrime says Apr 18, 2009 01:38PM TK_: this is one of the few rare times, I actually agree with you.
TK☠ Apr 18, 2009 01:39PM Work is what defined a man. Dun you girls ever forget that. Support him or fuck off.
TK☠ Apr 18, 2009 01:48PM Just as a sub point, it was never meant to be between work and wife. So dun make it as such.
TK☠ Apr 18, 2009 02:00PM CB> the choice he already been made. It jus whether u will bite the bullet, or roll over and die.
大坏人 Apr 18, 2009 02:02PM I feel your pain, cowboy. but with your credentials, you are way better off with another job (unless you're a sucker for pain)
♣♠XOXO♥♦ Apr 18, 2009 02:57PM Well. If you only be this busy after getting married, i can see why she kick up such fuss.
☠ Cynner Apr 18, 2009 05:35PM I don really wanna defend her but girls are laden with more hormones...hence...
TK☠ Apr 18, 2009 06:10PM Look at AWARE... Even they are confused. How can one agree with me and still definitely choose the wife?
TK☠ Apr 18, 2009 06:11PM So you would prefer that CB resents her and the situation she brought about?
TK☠ Apr 18, 2009 06:11PM Or that he makes it very clear to her that work and wife are never mutually exclusive?
TK☠ Apr 18, 2009 06:12PM And that she is wrong to make him choose on the first place? That work should and must take priority?
TK☠ Apr 18, 2009 06:14PM She lose. He lose. He should not make any choice at all. It wasn't a choice to be made in the first place!
TK☠ Apr 18, 2009 06:15PM Let me be amply realistic here. Females are dime a dozen. Wires and gfs alike. But work defines a man. Not his female.
TK☠ Apr 18, 2009 06:16PM And advocate her? So everytime she comes up with such ultimatum? He has to give in?
TK☠ Apr 18, 2009 06:18PM When u pull back when your puppy snaps, it learns that u fear when he does that, and dies that each time after to get it's way
TK☠ Apr 18, 2009 06:22PM Then ask yourself if you would ask this of your man... And whether he will do it.
TK☠ Apr 18, 2009 06:24PM MsV> I just want u to remember this. And any other female reading this. Dun make your man choose
TK☠ Apr 18, 2009 06:26PM It's not fair. It's not reasonable. And u are risking everything for absolutely no gain.
老李! Apr 18, 2009 06:44PM the fact that cowboy isn't replying means something. TK, as much you feel deeply about it, don't you think that this is too deeply personal
老李! Apr 18, 2009 06:45PM for you to comment to this level? perhaps we should just give cowboy the support he needs and let him do his thing.
♣♠XOXO♥♦ Apr 18, 2009 08:48PM if she can say like this, the money part doesnt matter that much, isnt it. LVMH can pacify for sure?
TK☠ Apr 19, 2009 04:45AM my reference to CB's wife was when MsV agreed and yet still advocated to giving in. hence my question becomes one of compromise.
老李! Apr 19, 2009 04:51AM yes, I know. But this is his very personal plurk. That's my point, my dear. Let's give the man some space. We can fight some other day.
barffie says Apr 19, 2009 06:56AM wtf. TK try to use logic to talk about someone ELSE's relationship. Please lah.
barffie says Apr 19, 2009 06:57AM Cowboy, although this is tough choice, but seriously your job is taking too much out of you - wife or no wife
barffie says Apr 19, 2009 06:57AM a job defines a man, fine, but if it consumes ALL of a man, and he is defined by nothing except his job (to listen to boss and take shit)
barffie says Apr 19, 2009 07:18AM would you rather a girl go away remembering you are a fish farmer or that you love Rotties and advocate good training etc for dog etc?
barffie says Apr 19, 2009 07:19AM preferably both, right? A job defines a man but it doesn't consume all of your life, that's why you could have the 2nd point to mention
barffie says Apr 19, 2009 07:19AM if your job consumes all of you like perhaps what cowboy is, then I'm sorry, he's a boring guy who knows nothing but work
TK☠ Apr 19, 2009 07:20AM Barffie> my point is that Work and Wife are not mutually exclusive. And to have the woman make it as such is unfair.
TK☠ Apr 19, 2009 07:20AM same as if your wife asks you who would you save first? your own mother or your wife. There is NO correct answer. its a Lose Lose situation.
barffie says Apr 19, 2009 07:21AM and he has nothing else except his work. =\ is life supposed to be like that?
Siren says Apr 19, 2009 07:21AM i dun think any of us are in their relationship enough to make a judgment as to whether her demands were unfair or unreasonable
TK☠ Apr 19, 2009 07:23AM its not ABOUT the HIS wife... but I am saying ALL women shouldn't EVER ask this choice to be made.
barffie says Apr 19, 2009 07:23AM I am not judging her actions. I am simply telling Cowboy he could have a better alternative to his job.
TK☠ Apr 19, 2009 07:25AM DPL> that is why women and house wives and even my own mother laments at her lost youth and opportunities.
Siren says Apr 19, 2009 07:25AM i agree with Barffie's perspective of asking dear cowboy to look at alternatives to his job. My comment was directed at others who force
barffie says Apr 19, 2009 07:28AM do you understand how Cowboy will feel when he read that some guy is judging his wife's actions?
大坏人 Apr 19, 2009 07:29AM dont worry lar, TK is still riding on his online jerkwave. he's sure cowboy will understand.
Siren says Apr 19, 2009 07:29AM ok then. stop making every plurk about you.... dear cowboy, i know it's a shitty time. i suggest talking to your wifey. i think if she can
barffie says Apr 19, 2009 07:29AM this is a tough moment for him, and no jackass on the internet should make him feel worse about what his wife asked him...
Siren says Apr 19, 2009 07:30AM see that you are taking time out to hear her grouses, things might calm down a little. good luck k?
barffie says Apr 19, 2009 07:33AM TK: You are never wrong. But you FAIL in relationships. See the irony?
barffie says Apr 19, 2009 07:35AM are you the best person to comment about what's right and what's wrong in another person's relationship?
barffie says Apr 19, 2009 07:36AM trust me, I am not wrong about this. You are not the right person to comment about his relationship.
TK☠ Apr 19, 2009 07:36AM you can disregard, disagree or debunk someone's opinion. But you cannot stop people from having one.
barffie says Apr 19, 2009 07:38AM we want to see Cowboy's responses. Not your smart aleck know-it-all shit.
barffie says Apr 19, 2009 07:38AM if you want to do your smart aleck know-it-all shit. Please start your own Plurk.
JayWalk Apr 19, 2009 10:27AM guys like us are at the stage where our job consume us. It's called paying our dues to get where we finally want to be. It's a due process.
JayWalk Apr 19, 2009 10:30AM Either way the guy loses. Work and he loses the wife. Wife and he quits his job with resentment in his heart.
barffie says Apr 19, 2009 10:34AM but seriously, does he like/enjoy/appreciate/whatever his job in the first place?
Siren says Apr 19, 2009 10:35AM that may be true, but women go through the same kind of dilemma as well. Everyone does - be it work, family, friends or whatnot - at some pt
barffie says Apr 19, 2009 10:37AM a woman could have had her shot in life and career as well. But they got another "duty" to fulfill... to have children.
barffie says Apr 19, 2009 10:38AM now... it certainly seems it's not worth getting married at all, as this discussion progresses further =\
Siren says Apr 19, 2009 10:39AM i dun really see it as a 'duty' though. i think it's a choice every empowered person can make.
barffie says Apr 19, 2009 10:40AM of course you can choose not to have kids, like me. But for those who want to have kids. They would have to give up career advancement
barffie says Apr 19, 2009 10:44AM so don't get married lor. If sacrifice means if one will never be completely pretty..
JayWalk Apr 19, 2009 11:12AM tk_'s point is that you change job only because it sucks and you are able to. Not because your wife tells you to.
老李! Apr 19, 2009 03:56PM look, none of us actually know the full story behind this, so for us to assume it's the wife asking him to make an unfair decision is too
老李! Apr 19, 2009 03:56PM much. We only know so much. We cannot immediately assume the actions based on limited information.
老李! Apr 19, 2009 03:57PM if the limited circumstances that TK assume is right, then perhaps he's right. but are we right about the circumstances? can you assume it??
aloe Apr 19, 2009 04:00PM while it is understandable that one should only give up one's job when one wants to or have to,
aloe Apr 19, 2009 04:00PM one should also put him/herself in the other person's shoes and see why the other person reacted the way s/he did
aloe Apr 19, 2009 04:02PM do not jus assume based on a person's perspective of the situation and try to tink if u wld react the same way if u are caste in the same
aloe Apr 19, 2009 04:02PM U may tink u may not, that u will be a very understanding partner, etc etc. But in the heat of the moment, sometimes feelings get in the way
aloe Apr 19, 2009 04:04PM and u cast ur anger especially, at the one thing that is in the way, which is the job in this case.
JayWalk Apr 19, 2009 04:44PM tk_: the disciplining part is just your hot air talking big. hence the omission.
TK☠ Apr 19, 2009 06:02PM Aloe> hence my point that never give ur guy such a choice. Even in a fit of anger.
TK☠ Apr 19, 2009 06:05PM It's be all fine and dandy if the guy finds a better job with more time. How many here belief in fairy tales?
老李! Apr 20, 2009 12:09AM TK: so you are assuming that you know exactly everything that is going on here, and not just presumably his own interpretation
老李! Apr 20, 2009 12:10AM or versions of events? and by the way if you can't understand english, read what I wrote again.
老李! Apr 20, 2009 12:11AM do you even know the circumstances behind the thought process that led up to this step? if not, for once, please TK.
老李! Apr 20, 2009 12:12AM everyone can have opinions. healthy discussions are good. but that's not what you're doing here.
TK☠ Apr 20, 2009 12:12AM ... A chicken with it's head cut off, is different to one that has it's head twisted off. But does it matter to the chicken?
老李! Apr 20, 2009 12:13AM the thing is you can never accept others' opinions, and always insist you're right, even the situation is an open ended question.
老李! Apr 20, 2009 12:14AM yes, if the question is how did the chicken die. please don't assume you know everything.
TK☠ Apr 20, 2009 12:15AM No.1 I hardly referred to CB's situation. The statements I make is for the good of all.
老李! Apr 20, 2009 12:15AM I'm not saying more about this, or you rather. this is a serious issue about someone's future.
老李! Apr 20, 2009 12:16AM if your comments have nearly nothing to do with cb's statement, make them somewhere else.
老李! Apr 20, 2009 12:17AM and what the fuck is "for the good of all"? what are you, God? no? this is the limit of my patience.
TK☠ Apr 20, 2009 12:17AM No.3 the answer is that it doesn't matter to the chicken. The results are the same.
老李! Apr 20, 2009 12:18AM ok, that's it. you're really an asshole. I really have nothing to say, yoru blind and narrow minded arguments just take the cake.
TK☠ Apr 20, 2009 12:19AM No.4 I'm not god. But it's just good advise. Take it of leave it. The choice is urs.
AlmostInfamous says Apr 20, 2009 12:46AM An accurate description of events does not constitute good advice.
AlmostInfamous says Apr 20, 2009 12:46AM TK > I know and understand where you are coming from. Your description how CB is in a lose-lose situation is very accurate.
AlmostInfamous says Apr 20, 2009 12:47AM It still doesn't help him though - there isn't exactly a red card you can give to the wife and say "Expelled for excessive dilemma".
barffie says Apr 20, 2009 12:55AM by doing this you are telling Cowboy that his wife is FAIL and he should smack her silly and twist her neck off.
barffie says Apr 20, 2009 12:56AM for the good of all? You are preaching apathy. To other people's significant other, partner, loved ones.
TK☠ Apr 20, 2009 01:05AM Infamous> my adviserial consisted where I state that women should never give such ultimatums to males.
TK☠ Apr 20, 2009 01:07AM Reasons being it's a lose lose lose situation and work and wife are not mutually exclusive
aloe Apr 20, 2009 01:10AM and as usual, TK is being an obstinate MCP who tinks males are alpha and females should all bow down to him
AlmostInfamous says Apr 20, 2009 01:10AM That's exactly what I mean - I agree that CB's wife should not have asked the question.
aloe Apr 20, 2009 01:10AM and he's obviously very free in posting replies to a lot of plurks and turns off everybody.
AlmostInfamous says Apr 20, 2009 01:11AM The issue here is - what does CB do now that the wife has asked the question? You can't exactly "red card" her.
AlmostInfamous says Apr 20, 2009 01:17AM Just doing a public service by exposing a very serious flaw in his logic.
TK☠ Apr 20, 2009 01:29AM infamous> that is why I said it has already been decided. Either bite the bullet or roll over and die.
TK☠ Apr 20, 2009 01:32AM Core problem Work = Time is a problem. Solution?> Take specific time off, turn off hp, date nights, etc.
TK☠ Apr 20, 2009 01:33AM Core problem Wife = thinks its either work or her, impatient, Wants more time with hubby, Lonely, needs someone to talk to etc.
NemesisPrime says Apr 20, 2009 01:33AM hey, fellows, should we move on now ? this is getting tedious and CC ignored this long time ago...
TK☠ Apr 20, 2009 01:35AM Solution?> make clear work and wife are not exclusive of each other. Spend more time on Skype. Give her a baby. Etc.
TK☠ Apr 20, 2009 01:36AM NP> why tedious? i think its an excellent topic. Many have read this and first off thinks that giving in to the wife is the right thing.
TK☠ Apr 20, 2009 01:37AM Capella> though you aren't wrong, I think you are over-simplifying the issue.
TK☠ Apr 20, 2009 01:37AM infamous> that's biting the bullet. (which no one ask me what that means...) then there is rolling over and playing dead.
AlmostInfamous says Apr 20, 2009 01:39AM TK> I think given how emotionally charged this topic is it is understandable that people would assume the worst.
TK☠ Apr 20, 2009 01:39AM roll over=pacifying her immediate demands, or avoid the issue altogether. Nothing changes and it would happen again.
AlmostInfamous says Apr 20, 2009 01:40AM A miscommunication is the responsibility of both the communicator and communicated-to.
TK☠ Apr 20, 2009 01:41AM To "bite the bullet" is to accept the consequences of a hard choice. addressing the core issue is tougher than it sounds.
AlmostInfamous says Apr 20, 2009 01:41AM Plus, you don't exactly have a sterling reputation in tact and diplomacy.
TK☠ Apr 20, 2009 01:42AM pacifying her is a hell lot easier... and many take that path especially after marriage.
AlmostInfamous says Apr 20, 2009 01:42AM We're in agreement with your basic premise and in this respect I think you've given very sound advice.
AlmostInfamous says Apr 20, 2009 01:43AM I'm just pointing out why/how people are jumping on you for this.
AlmostInfamous says Apr 20, 2009 01:44AM A court jester's function is to make people laugh and therefore think.
AlmostInfamous says Apr 20, 2009 01:44AM If you wanted to be a court jester, you need to work on that comic timing a bit.
TK☠ Apr 20, 2009 01:44AM infamous> the only reason why they think as such is because their own soul is marred with darkness...
AlmostInfamous says Apr 20, 2009 01:47AM It's always a lot easier to say that someone else's soul is marred with darkness. I encourage you to "bite the bullet"
TK☠ Apr 20, 2009 01:47AM Aloe> sorry you feel that way. unfortunately its obvious that the narrow-mindedness didn't come from me.
AlmostInfamous says Apr 20, 2009 01:50AM Again, easy to say "I'm misunderstood", much harder to address what you can do to be understood better yes?
AlmostInfamous says Apr 20, 2009 01:50AM Or for that matter, why you are choosing not to be understood.
barffie says Apr 20, 2009 01:58AM if he's not going to be around most of the time, giving her a baby will make it harder for him to stay at work
barffie says Apr 20, 2009 01:59AM and she will be lamenting why her husband is not going to be around when she needs him most
AlmostInfamous says Apr 20, 2009 01:59AM It may also give CB the final push to reassess his priorities.
AlmostInfamous says Apr 20, 2009 02:03AM I think TK suffers from "soggy potato chip" syndrome. Probably didn't get hugged enough as a kid.
AlmostInfamous says Apr 20, 2009 02:09AM I don't think TK's advice is bad per se. His presentation needs work.
AlmostInfamous says Apr 20, 2009 02:12AM Like him, I don't encourage that CB just quit his job because his wife said so.
AlmostInfamous says Apr 20, 2009 02:12AM I think CB needs to speak to his wife more - more likely that the ultimatum is a result of a lot of emotional pressure.
barffie says Apr 20, 2009 02:14AM I don't agree that he should just quit as well. These kind of ultimatum don't appear just like that, it's a built up frustration
barffie says Apr 20, 2009 02:15AM work out a compromise with her and not like what some of the above said, get a new wife?
AlmostInfamous says Apr 20, 2009 02:15AM Yeap. Agreed. I think that some of the jokes about getting a new wife or disciplining the wife were a bit distasteful.
AlmostInfamous says Apr 20, 2009 02:16AM At the heart of it, we're all upset to see CB in this situation.
barffie says Apr 20, 2009 02:22AM CB is very sweet to his wife, and I think it pains him that his work situation is keeping away from his family?
AlmostInfamous says Apr 20, 2009 02:51AM I feel for CB, I really do. I don't think he asked to be placed in this position.
xiaoyun-er says Apr 20, 2009 04:32AM i believe when the most of us said wife, we didn't ask the man to actually quit his job, but to actually do something to keep the wife.
jesuafreak shares Apr 20, 2009 08:03AM cowboycaleb, take care dude.. choose life and wat makes u happy. Ultimately the choice is urs.. make it and live with it
TK_: this is one of the few rare times, I actually agree with you. 
