Plurk

678 responses to this plurk (Jump to bottom)

  • A Jet Black ♥
    I hate trying to promote things on plurk because I never know what category to use
  • SpringGin
    /all the applause
  • Raistlynn
    Definitely true, and replurking
  • Infychu
    :'-( /cries all over everyone in this plurk
  • Nea
    /replurks
  • μ-12-
    i need that emote of that teary dude applauding
  • Infychu
    :'-( (cozy) /cuddles the Flight
  • Tsunsuke
    :'-( (cozy) hugging everyone.
  • Bowler Hat Guy
    that's presumptive in regards to what people want to do with their lives, tho. which sorta distracts from the message.
  • LemmanZest
    Good. This is a very good thing, and a beautiful response, and just exactly what a lot of people need to hear.
  • CPT ROGERS
    ...wow i definitely wasn't expecting to have such an emotional response to this comment
  • shenanigans
    sun_cosmos I concur. I think the message is great but I was like "sheesh, why so much about sex, romance and children?" it's nbd I just...
  • shenanigans
    Not everyone wants that, why so much emphasis on one group of things
  • Bowler Hat Guy
    it reinforces the whole girls growing up to get married and do the domestic junk = ultimate life fulfillment thing, so yeah
  • Bowler Hat Guy
    the whole thing is written rather oddly, idk
  • SHSL HERO
    At the same time, those can be considered "classic examples" of fulfilling things in life, and it also mentions totally unrelated things.
  • SHSL HERO
    I do get where you're coming from though, and it is written a little weirdly...
  • SHSL HERO
    But the important bit to focus on is those last two lines. It doesn't matter what someone wants out of life, those two facts stay true.
  • Bowler Hat Guy
    People spout niceties on a regular basis. They can ring rather hollow, since most people just do it to be polite.
  • mercurial.
    Hollow, polite niceties are not the same thing as kindness.
  • mercurial.
    I like this. It's something good, for a change. A counterpoint to the amount of WOW YOU'RE UGLY or JUST KILL YOURSELF on the internet.
  • petal is
    it just me or did they accent having a baby several times. :|a
  • mercurial.
    It's apparently not just you!
  • mercurial.
    I'm... not seeing it, myself.
  • ᴋᴏᴍᴏʀʏ ʙᴀᴛ
    emphasis on having a baby is a bit alienating for people who vehemently never want to have one...
  • @rattitude
    She's probably someone who really wants a child herself. I don't think she was intending for everyone to see it or to offend anyone.
  • @rattitude
    She was thinking of that girl, and that's the part that saddened her.
  • @rattitude
    So that's the part she used.
  • @rattitude
    This message is absolutely amazing, though.
  • TopCat
    Having a kid is usually an expected assumption of the world, its not meant to alienate or offend so imo it doesn't ruin this message at all
  • TopCat
    not everyone can expect to know every persons preference
  • Bowler Hat Guy
    Politeness is often mistaken for kindness. It doesn't mean they care. People shouldn't put much stock in what strangers say.
  • Bowler Hat Guy
    and whoever wrote the thing is still stereotyping, even if they didn't intend to
  • Crow Witch
    For real. Amazing response
  • Yarn Temptress says
    ...Are people seriously dissecting this?
  • King In Exile
    of course, we can't just enjoy a nice well meaning message
  • King In Exile
    and I'm glad they posted it, and didn't kill themselves
  • bondonkadonk
    sun_cosmos ngl, thought this too. my little girl dreams involved kicking ass, not having babies. i'm sure there's plenty of others the same
  • bondonkadonk
    the hearts in the right place though
  • shenanigans
    I don't think anyone's trying to drag down the meaning of the message simply by disagreeing with some of the examples given. There's a
  • ѕнє
    Some people post hateful things just to get a rise out of others, not because they have a hateful life themselves.
  • ѕнє
    And yeah, the person writing this is probably thinking of themselves and maybe what the parents wanted, projecting yes
  • ѕнє
    but there's no way to ask what that 13 year old wanted to do with her life
  • shenanigans
    simple difference in opinion here, but that's all, and I don't think there's an issue with people pointing out things that they don't really
  • ѕнє
    so she's making assumptions, yes, and maybe that's wrong? but i think the message still comes through all the same
  • ѕнє
    The girl won't be able to live her life the way she wants to, whether or not it's the things mentioned. Who knows what they are.
  • skyfall
    i feel like i've read this before, but...
  • skyfall
    it's very tearjerking, the only part i'm skeptical of is some kid going "you are beautiful and deserve to live"
  • skyfall
    what kid says this out of the blue?
  • skyfall
    it seems really specific
  • ᴘɪᴛʏ ɴᴏᴏᴅʟᴇ
    well, it was probably not those exact words, but that is the message the writer preceived.
  • skyfall
    fair enough.
  • skyfall
    reminds me of a story i saw in the news, about a guy who needed heart surgery so he planned to
  • skyfall
    shoot up a street and get himself arrested
  • skyfall
    so they'd help him in prison
  • skyfall
    and apparently he had all these guns, and he was convinced to stop by this sweet dog
  • skyfall
    that came up to him, and played with him a bit
  • skyfall
    and he felt so guilty afterward that he turned himself in
  • ms. frizzle
    yeah, and it doesn't particularly matter what the kid meant, because if what this person got out of it was "I shouldn't kill myself" that's
  • シャドウ ✦
    the parts that hit me most were about the girl's dad and mom really. because i know if i somehow ever died my parents would be
  • シャドウ ✦
    i can only imagine what the parents go through after losing a child to that.
  • eat a dick
    ...it was pretty touching for me up until the little girl example tbh... like i understand the writer's trying to tug at heartstrings and
  • eat a dick
    all that but that kind of assuming/projection just ends up making me uncomfortable
  • eat a dick
    "a 13 year old girl from my town" isn't exactly how someone refers to a close friend, and talking about what the guy said on the day the kid
  • eat a dick was
    born implies the person was either there, or spoke directly to the father and the man decided to drop everything and talk about personal
  • eat a dick
    regrets re:his daughter's future life
  • Kathryn
    It's a sad day when a random typical 'feel good' story like what used to get posted to Myspace is being dissected for being too controlling
  • Kathryn
    over what young girls want to grow up to be. I'm pretty sure that no matter how far off the attempted message the author got, it's clear
  • ♡misandry
    well idk dude people have different reactions to things
  • eat a dick
    ...who's talking about controlling, i'm saying it made me feel uncomfortable
  • ♡misandry
    it's not like people are obligated to just automatically feel good about such a touchy topic
  • ♡misandry
    even when the intention is a positive one
  • eat a dick
    because of how the writer worded these things
  • Kathryn
    what they were TRYING to impart on the reader. Authors use things that make them feel a certain way in order to help the readers do the
  • Kathryn
    lol O f course not, but when I saw this reblogged on tumblr I didn't immediately enter a discussion about how offended I was, I ignored it
  • Kathryn
    I just don't see why others don't do the same, since the message was well-intentioned. If you have an issue contacting the writer might
  • Kathryn
    work best?
  • ♡misandry
    well, yes, but that unto itself is saying people have to be emotional in the exact way the author intends. look, i'm not saying the author's
  • ♡misandry
    i respect what they're saying
  • ♡misandry
    but i can see what the above person is saying, too
  • ♡misandry
    i think their reaction has merit as well
  • Bowler Hat Guy
    good intentions don't make up for everything. and I don't know how you would contact an anonymous
  • Bowler Hat Guy
    it could just be some person who saw something mean on the internet and decided to write up a story, that happens more often then not
  • ♡misandry
    a topic like this has always got to be a conversation because many people will have many feelings.
  • ♡misandry
    it is a feel good story, but about the weighted topic of suicide, and how we grieve. not a little have a nice day
  • ♡misandry
    yeah idk I could see where you were coming from cos i felt a bit the same way, lol
  • eat a dick
    but yeah uh... i'm not trying to deny the basic message in the story, just that the way it's written didn't really lend itself to pulling on
  • eat a dick
    my heartstrings. i'm sure it does with most people, good for them, that's fine too, have at it. it kind of creeps me out.
  • ♡misandry
    I guess my initial reaction was that, while I understood the author's intention, the amount of projecting felt weirdly
  • ♡misandry
    exploitative of the girl's tragedy in an Internet post
  • ♡misandry
    idk it's uncomfortable on a level I have trouble articulating
  • eat a dick
    i guess it's got a lot to do with, i don't like people assuming shit about me, i would prefer it if others didn't do the same?
  • eat a dick
    something along those lines maybe idk
  • shenanigans
    that makes sense. and like someone else said, I also felt it was exploitative. The good intent was there but it was written in a way that
  • shenanigans
    some people find jarring, that's all.
  • ♡misandry
    I don't want anyone to self-harm or kill themselves. I think we should definitely encourage people to live, and that things will get better
  • shenanigans
    If I were to rewrite that paragraph with the same level of emphasise on my own interests, it would come out sounding like "they'll never
  • ♡misandry
    well, I guess I also don't think people who are contemplating suicide should have it held over their heads how sad it'll make
  • Memento Mori
    i think i managed to replurk it
  • shenanigans
    know their first day of art school, or develop a love of typography, or make their first portfolio". Doesn't that sound strange?
  • NexusChampion
    ... I love how we can talk through stuff on plurk rationally.
  • NexusChampion
    I've noticed it not only with my friends but with complete strangers
  • eat a dick
    haha rationality happens sometimes :'Da
  • Dr Wholittle
    it makes me sad to see that within the first 20 comments people are already nitpicking this for the authors choice of events in ones life -
  • Dr Wholittle
    as opposed to celebrating the message that any douche on the internet that tells someone to kill themselves is just that - a douche
  • ♡misandry
    that message is kind of obvious to any feeling person
  • ♡misandry
    you don't have to be an unusually compassionate human being to think a douche on the Internet who tells you to kill yourself
  • ♡misandry
    so it's natural that the way the author is saying things is being questioned, beyond that
  • ♡misandry
    it was really just her use of the girl's story that I questioned, tbh
  • Dr Wholittle
    i agree the message should be obvious - but were on the internet...the place where compassion is almost a myth and cruelty is sadly the norm
  • A Jet Black ♥
    by turning to her when she came to say goodbye to me for the last time and out of the blue saying
  • A Jet Black ♥
    "did you know when you die, it means you go away forever?" when I was three.
  • A Jet Black ♥
    I have no memory of it at all, but she insists it happened and tells it in great detail
  • A Jet Black ♥
    it was really chilling to be told I was kind of uncomfortable at first
  • skyfall
    that is pretty scary
  • A Jet Black ♥
    so I am now a firm believer that kids do say random shit at convenient times.
  • A Jet Black ♥
    even if it seems bizarrely coincidental, like in this instance
  • ᴡʀᴀᴛʜɪᴏɴ。
    i feel like people are missing the point by nitpicking over the choices of lifestyle the author mentioned. those choices are just some of
  • ᴡʀᴀᴛʜɪᴏɴ。
    the MANY things the girl COULD have done had she been encouraged rather than discouraged.
  • ᴡʀᴀᴛʜɪᴏɴ。
    but since she died, she can't do any of that, she can't grow up or be whatever she might have wanted to be.
  • ƒℓуιηg
    Just because we may disagree with some aspects of it does not mean we're missing the point, thank you.
  • ᴡʀᴀᴛʜɪᴏɴ。
    i just feel that the message is being lost because what i think are unimportant details are being focused on.
  • Bowler Hat Guy
    I think everyone got the point. Just not everyone liked the way it was delivered. Obviously the details aren't unimportant to everyone.
  • Bowler Hat Guy
    it was more than simply "be nice or what you say could potentially push someone over the edge etc..."
  • w-в-х
    Here's an idea, why don't you fucking assholes stop projecting your lack of interest in having children on this plurk already?
  • w-в-х
    You're erasing people who want to have a family of their own some day.
  • sᴏ ᴅᴀᴍɴ ᴅᴏɴᴇ
    It's kind of funny that you're complaining about them projecting when people were theorizing that the writer of this was projecting
  • chocodicks
    Wow what a great response to this beautiful message.
  • chocodicks
    I'm proud of you, Plurk
  • chocodicks
    If the post had said "Never go to college" no one would have replied with "What if she didn't want to go to college!"
  • chocodicks
    I am pretty fucking damn sure.
  • A Jet Black ♥
    I don't know that's another assumed future that is no longer the standard
  • chocodicks
    Yeah so it's not like we can be sure, if we tried to set something like that up now I'm sure someone would say it out of spite.
  • sᴏ ᴅᴀᴍɴ ᴅᴏɴᴇ
    you can still agree with something like this which points out "this person had future" and still say "you know, there's something sketchy
  • chocodicks
    I really can't bring myself to care about that part as someone who this message is really helpful to soooo
  • ᴡʀᴀᴛʜɪᴏɴ。
    how is it sketchy, though? like, how is it legitimately sketchy when it's just common examples of what someone MIGHT do in their future
  • ᴡʀᴀᴛʜɪᴏɴ。
    sure, the girl might not have chosen that path, but it's a path and the writer likely just chose the one they're more familiar with
  • #HANNIBAL NO
    i think that to say "this part is sketchy" or "you're erasing x" or "you're enforcing the stereotype" or whatever on this message is really
  • chocodicks
    Yeah that is exactly what this message said good job
  • #HANNIBAL NO
    not classy in thsi context. sure, you have a right to do it
  • ᴡʀᴀᴛʜɪᴏɴ。
    but the writer isn't implying ANYTHING like that re: women are worthless if they don't have kids
  • #HANNIBAL NO
    but having a right doesn't make you not a dick for doing it
  • Kira J. Lane
    Also, the author was implying the girl might want to travel or have an education.
  • Kira J. Lane
    They listed just a bunch of generic life events.
  • chocodicks
    Here's my thoughts on this. Maybe they should have said something else I DON'T REALLY CARE.
  • ᴡʀᴀᴛʜɪᴏɴ。
    what's being focused on is just ONE particular part and that part in the grand scheme of the message is UNIMPORTANT.
  • chocodicks
    But I will say that nitpicking an uplifting anti-suicide message is extremely counterproductive.
  • Kira J. Lane
    I can understand having a beef with how there's a lot of pressure to do certain things, but the writer just picked a nice broad spectrum.
  • chocodicks
    Because if someone has read it and had their mood altered for the better and then scrolled down to read all of this bickering about wording
  • chocodicks
    Gee, that sure is going to help.
  • Kira J. Lane
    Not just the family-oriented get-married-make-babies stuff. She hit on education and life-enriching things like travel too, which
  • Kira J. Lane
    society does NOT push pressure on women to do
  • Kira J. Lane
    So I kinda think that while it's irritating to be reminded of stuff that makes you feel a bit pressured, those things are part of a the
  • Kira J. Lane
    realm of human experience for many people. And the author just seemed to be listing some general experiences rather than just emphasizing
  • Bowler Hat Guy
    now, now... calling people dicks and assholes isn't what we're 'sposed to do.
  • Kira J. Lane
    I also think, as someone who once attempted suicide, it's sort of irritating to have a message like this completely hijacked
  • Bowler Hat Guy
    and they totally put emphasis on mawige and kids and etc... I don't care who wrote it or why, but it's still problematic to depict girls as
  • Bowler Hat Guy
    did you read all the comments? people actually made good points about it.
  • chocodicks
    Nobody did portray girls as mainly wanting marriage though, please be so kind as to show which part of the post did that.
  • Kira J. Lane
    I mean, not all parents would miss their kid, you know. Some parents are abusive. you don't see me hijacking this whole thing to point out
  • Kira J. Lane
    that emphasis on happy nuclear families is problematic when many people are abused.
  • Bowler Hat Guy
    marriage in a white dress and "traditional" etc. and kids, that's mostly what they wrote about. yes?
  • chocodicks
    I also think, as someone who once attempted suicide, it's sort of irritating to have a message like this completely hijacked
  • chocodicks
    YES THIS. Those could have been my words.
  • Kira J. Lane
    Also having sex, finishing school, and traveling the world.
  • Kira J. Lane
    Those are things women are NOT usually pressured to do and are sometimes discouraged to do
  • chocodicks
    In fact, you want to know what my thought process was upon seeing this Plurk?
  • Kira J. Lane
    The OP hit a lot of general experiences and had a balance of the stereotypical ones (that many women still want to have) but also
  • chocodicks
    "This is beautiful oh my god what a great person"
  • Kira J. Lane
    ones that are not as stereotypical
  • chocodicks
    "Oh. Well. Ugh what's the point."
  • chocodicks
    "There goes my mood."
  • Kira J. Lane
    You guys are ruiners, man. You should start a ruiners club.
  • Bowler Hat Guy
    dude, the emphasized the traditional role of women more than anything else, talking about marriage and kids and baby. and also sex
  • Kira J. Lane
    I do get the complaints about societal pressures but crikey. There's a time and a place
  • chocodicks
    Telling people their life has meaning and they shouldn't end it all? HDU NOT PHRASE IT EXACTLY THE WAY I WOULD HAVE.
  • Bowler Hat Guy
    but that also goes along with the whole "get married have family" thing
  • chocodicks
    No, you know what they emphasized more than anything else? NOT FUCKING KILLING YOURSELF.
  • Kira J. Lane
    Guess what? I WANT to get married and have a family.
  • Bowler Hat Guy
    people already gave good reason for having some issues with the thing, whoever wrote it, whether it was sincere or true
  • w-в-х
    I only expected to rile up the trolls with that bit.
  • Kira J. Lane
    And I respect people's choices not to want to. I do
  • ᴡʀᴀᴛʜɪᴏɴ。
    sun_cosmos: but why is using a traditional role a bad thing? yes, if the writer said the girl should ONLY do that, yeah, it would be
  • Bowler Hat Guy
    or trying to spread awareness. then other people come along and call them assholes, like they didn't even pay attention
  • w-в-х
    And it seems that I did.
  • Kira J. Lane
    But she wrote this as just a general thing
  • ᴡʀᴀᴛʜɪᴏɴ。
    but the writer wasn't doing anything like that. they were just using one example to emphasis a point.
  • chocodicks
    "Whether it was sincere or true" what
  • ᴡʀᴀᴛʜɪᴏɴ。
    by assuming the author intended to emphasis traditional gender roles, the main message is being shunted aside
  • Bowler Hat Guy
    they were projecting. You do realize that some person could have just made this up, right? whoever anon is.
  • ᴡʀᴀᴛʜɪᴏɴ。
    how can you say they're projecting when you know nothing about the author
  • chocodicks
    What even is your problem?
  • ᴡʀᴀᴛʜɪᴏɴ。
    how do you know you're not the one projecting your own feelings onto the message?
  • Kira J. Lane
    You're being hugely presumptive.
  • Kira J. Lane
    I mean the people arguing with youat least in my case I definitely understand and empathize with people who get upset over society
  • Kira J. Lane
    pressuring people into being certain things.
  • Bowler Hat Guy
    seriously? did you read what has actually been said like... idk 100 comments ago?
  • w-в-х
    and laundry: all three of you are beautiful.
  • ᴡʀᴀᴛʜɪᴏɴ。
    you're taking offense to something meant in good faith and to be uplifting simply because of one specific example
  • Kira J. Lane
    There are other aspects of my life where I have to deal with that, I have friends who deal with that, and people have made good points about
  • Kira J. Lane
    But there is still a time. And a place.
  • ᴡʀᴀᴛʜɪᴏɴ。
    the author is in no way suggesting that all girls should get married and have kids
  • ᴡʀᴀᴛʜɪᴏɴ。
    an example is made to emphasize she no longer has a future because of the words someone used
  • Kira J. Lane
    And sometimes people do hijack shit for their own complaints that irk them
  • ᴡʀᴀᴛʜɪᴏɴ。
    and that example just happens to be one that is more common. and not necessarily a bad thing.
  • Kira J. Lane
    And sometimes they assume too much about the person writing something.
  • chocodicks
    Should I unload my gender issues and lack of desire to have children all over a 121xreplurked post? Then would you take me seriously?
  • ᴡʀᴀᴛʜɪᴏɴ。
    some women want to get married and have kids and it doesn't mean they're misogynistic or anything like that
  • ᴡʀᴀᴛʜɪᴏɴ。
    there's nothing wrong with a lifestyle like that, just like there's nothing wrong with one that's different
  • Kira J. Lane
    The original writer just picked a wide cross-spectrum of things.
  • Kira J. Lane
    If she'd made it all childfree oriented I still would have gotten the same message from it.
  • chocodicks
    No, laundry. Women can make whatever choices they want, as long as they're the choices sun_cosmos approves of!
  • Kira J. Lane
    And I'd be criticizing about the people complaining over it not mentioning children. Doesn't matter either way.
  • ᴡʀᴀᴛʜɪᴏɴ。
    in the end, the point is that whatever future the girl wanted, she won't have because of the words of others. and THAT'S what we should be
  • Kira J. Lane
    She just chose a group of life experiences, some of them emphasizing family, some emphasizing personal growth
  • Kira J. Lane
    If you like to travel or have an education, you're covered to.
  • Kira J. Lane
    I mean, you know when you look at it, it's just as problematic to asexuals, the emphasis on first kisses and sex.
  • Kira J. Lane
    You just have to take it for what it is and realize she can't cover the whole realm of human experience in one post.
  • Kira J. Lane
    And criticizing people criticizing that isn't ignoring those societal problems or the arguments made, either.
  • Bowler Hat Guy
    please... the point is women shouldn't be put in a box where their future should be X and if they don't fulfill what society thinks they
  • Kira J. Lane
    It's just going "People. Timing."
  • Kira J. Lane
    Oh my god, do you even listen to yourself.
  • Kira J. Lane
    No one is even disagreeing with that.
  • chocodicks
    The question is, do they listen to the people they're arguing with =\
  • Kira J. Lane
    we're just disagreeing that someone mentioning a bunch of common and varied experiences is DOING that
  • Kira J. Lane
    And about whether a post that's meant to be inspirational and is written in a fairly innocuous way is a place to hijack for that.
  • Chanfing
    Clearly, the solution is never to say anything nice or inspirational, because you might offend someone
  • ᴡʀᴀᴛʜɪᴏɴ。
    a woman choosing to live a life where she gets married and has kids doesn't necessarily mean she's filling a box. it's a woman's right to
  • ᴡʀᴀᴛʜɪᴏɴ。
    choose and if you say what she chooses is wrong, you're degrading her choice.
  • eat a dick
    lmao woah this plurk went to complete shit since i last looked at it
  • w-в-х
    sun_cosmos: No, the point is that you are creating a box for people to be put in because of your own hang-ups.
  • Bowler Hat Guy
    They're being stereotypical, there's not even any denying that. And if people don't like stereotyping, have an issue with it, then that's
  • Bowler Hat Guy
    not even unreasonable. it's not necessarily "hijacking" it's having a discussion, while still agreeing with the main poorly written message
  • chocodicks
    Dude, have you ignored the part where two suicide attempt survivors have told you that hijacking this message is highly counterproductive?
  • chocodicks
    Oh I'm sorry. The part where we said that "having this ~~~discussion~~~" is highly counterproductive.
  • ᴡʀᴀᴛʜɪᴏɴ。
    this plurk has been turned into a personal soapbox about gender roles, rather than focusing on what the plurk was originally about
  • Kira J. Lane
    It feels sort of like you're taking something that's our issues and turning it as a chance to soapbox about your own.
  • chocodicks
    If you wanted to say something you could have made your own plurk about it instead of dragging this one through the mud.
  • maiden fair
    whoa, way to completely derail the original message with petty complaints about stereotypes
  • Bowler Hat Guy
    ... stereotyping is always bad. it's not "creating a box" to point out that people are often put in certain roles and this can be a problem.
  • ᴡʀᴀᴛʜɪᴏɴ。
    as septim said, what should be focused on is that fact the girl has no future, regardless of what the future would be.
  • Kira J. Lane
    I wouldn't really walk into a thing about gender roles and take over it and make it about depression/suicide.
  • maiden fair
    seriously you could take your complaints to a plurk of your own, or your blog or whatever
  • Kira J. Lane
    So it's kind of like...disheartening to see the same?
  • chocodicks
    Ok, good. We all are in agreement stereotyping is bad. Literally no one said otherwise.
  • chocodicks
    I'm glad we are all on the same page!!!!!
  • Kira J. Lane
    Yeah I hate stereotyping. My mom is one of those people that was told she shouldn't go to college because she was a woman
  • Kira J. Lane
    She got kicked out and basically disowned for putting herself through nursing school
  • Bowler Hat Guy
    other people were totally happy to have discussions about how the topic was good, but the way it was presented was problematic
  • Kira J. Lane
    It wasn't presented in a problematic way though
  • Bowler Hat Guy
    you disagreed, but you also dragged the discussion around yourself, so...
  • Kira J. Lane
    It's only problematic because she mentioned things that aren't part of your life experience.
  • Bowler Hat Guy
    not everyone thinks they're petty, so...
  • w-в-х
    It's not stereotyping to lay down a series of experiences that cover a broad range of lifestyle choices, and to include among those choices
  • w-в-х
    something that has been pushed on a group before.
  • Kira J. Lane
    But she also mentioned a couple of things that apply to a wide cross-section of people
  • ᴡʀᴀᴛʜɪᴏɴ。
    again, you're focusing way too much on the marriage/kids part and ignoring the rest of the message
  • Kira J. Lane
    You're even ignoring the parts that are diametrically opposed to problematic stereotypes of women being in the home like travel an education
  • chocodicks
    tbh I only brought up my own mental health issues because it seemed like you weren't getting how harmful this derailment was.
  • Bowler Hat Guy
    It doesn't matter if it's part of my life experience or not. It's portraying a tired old viewpoint that women are all about getting married
  • chocodicks
    I thought maybe someone speaking from personal experience would help. GUESS I WAS WRONG.
  • Bowler Hat Guy
    to some dude and having kids, primarily.
  • w-в-х
    and to call it stereotyping and get all up in arms about it is harmful to the cause of REAL equality.
  • maiden fair
    yes it is petty, obviously it's not going to apply to everyone. i'm sure the author knows that. we all know that. except you.
  • chocodicks
    sun_cosmos: BZZZT WRONG. The post never said anything about marrying a dude.
  • maiden fair
    the author chose a broad spectrum
  • Kira J. Lane
    Also uh. You know. I kinda think people who have dealt with suicide have a bit more of a right to talk about their experiences in a plurk
  • w-в-х
    I mean, if you want some stereotyping, I'd be glad to provide it.
  • chocodicks
    It was actually gender neutral wrt who she might or might not marry.
  • chocodicks
    So you are wrong, go directly to jail do not pass go.
  • ᴡʀᴀᴛʜɪᴏɴ。
    haha yeah, i like how it's being completely ignored that the white dress she could have worn could've been in the marriage to another woman
  • w-в-х
    "feminazi" is such a fun word. even if it does invoke Godwin's law.
  • Kira J. Lane
    I liked how it's being ignored that it mentioned love and sex when some are aromantic and asexual
  • Bowler Hat Guy
    I'm not the only one who brought up good points as to why the way this whole thing is portrayed is a problem.
  • Kira J. Lane
    I mean no matter what it emphasized some things that are not part of some people's life experience
  • chocodicks
    Let's change the subject to that. Why did you assume heterosexual marriage, hm?
  • eat a dick
    are you guys seriously arguing about this
  • Kira J. Lane
    Nah, I think that's going too far.
  • chocodicks
    Yeah, you're right. I'm just.
  • Bowler Hat Guy
    You don't think they were emphasizing marriage to a dude? They painted a pretty heteronormative viewpoint. But, hey, yeah. Maybe the dad
  • Kira J. Lane
    I do think though that sometimes a spade is just a spade. You have to look at whole context.
  • Bowler Hat Guy
    could have walked his daughter down the aisle and she could have married a lady.
  • Kira J. Lane
    And I think if the OP had JUST listed marriage/kids etc. That'd be one thing.
  • The Gentleman
    It's moments like these that I wish plurk had a 'freeze' option
  • Kira J. Lane
    But travel, sex, and education are actually something women are pressured AGAINST doing
  • eat a dick
    i don't blame you, dude
  • chocodicks
    If nothing else you could delete this and repost with comments disabled.
  • Bowler Hat Guy
    and people who have dealt with suicide are better equipped to talk about this issue. but that doesn't mean nobody else can talk about the
  • Bowler Hat Guy
    way this particular anonymous comment was written up.
  • chocodicks
    Are you unfamiliar with Tumblr? The part you were complaining about wasn't the part that was anonymous.
  • w-в-х
    ...I've got $20 bucks that says Argyle has shut down a dude for trying to talk feminisim at least once.
  • Kira J. Lane
    This is a post about gender stereotypes
  • w-в-х
    because we aren't "equipped" to talk about it.
  • ᴡʀᴀᴛʜɪᴏɴ。
    automatically assuming that things like her marriage and such would be heterosexual is more heternormative than the post itself, which is
  • ᴡʀᴀᴛʜɪᴏɴ。
    vague enough for people to assume, if they wanted, that the girl chose to marry another girl, etc
  • Kira J. Lane
    We were silly to think it wasn't just a general message of goodwill sent to people like us.
  • Bowler Hat Guy
    seriously, the discussion was decent until people came in claiming everyone was an asshole
  • Kira J. Lane
    It was decent until people started making dumb arguments.
  • chocodicks
    The discussion was predicated on an inherently indecent premise.
  • w-в-х
    Nobody's claiming everyone's an asshole.
  • Kira J. Lane
    And making it about their own issues with societal pressures
  • Bowler Hat Guy
    yeah, you could assume. but call me crazy, but I doubt they were talking about anything other than a het marriage.
  • Chanfing
    Everything has to be an argument about someone being oppressed. Everything.
  • chocodicks
    Why do you doubt that?
  • w-в-х
    And that's NOT assuming, Argyle?
  • Bowler Hat Guy
    the points brought up were civil and actually thought provoking
  • chocodicks
    The post didn't mention the girl having a husband or marrying a man. Those words never appeared.
  • BONK
    if all you get from this is that "omg not all women want babies" you are obtuse beyond all help
  • chocodicks
    I like how you keep not answering us when we ask why you assume that.
  • w-в-х
    But yeah, all I see here is some very convincing arguments for people who got all the hell up in arms because the author's words didn't
  • Chanfing
    Unless you say something so generic that it can't possibly refer to any one group, or so specific that it encompasses the entire spectrum
  • Chanfing
    of human experience, you have offended someone.
  • ṧƴḱεṧ
    Come on guys please, let's all accept that everyone views things differently, this is more than clear. But there's a time and place for
  • Bowler Hat Guy
    dude, nobody thought that the post was about that...
  • stetsonsarecool
    wow I remember reading this and thinking I'm so glad that people on plurk know how to disagree maturely.
  • ṧƴḱεṧ
    discussions like this, I understand the desire to have discussions, but please.
  • w-в-х
    conform to a very specific "progressive" model of what women should and shouldn't want to do with their lives are gigantic, raging assholes
  • w-в-х
    who are missing the entire point of this formerly positive and life-affirming plurk.
  • Chanfing
    It feels like this is a thing that has happened recently. People are so quick to get butthurt and call oppression.
  • stetsonsarecool
    going to keep this short: As someone who has struggled, I think all concerns are valid. Not everyone will react to this the same way, and
  • stetsonsarecool
    as a matter of fact, even I was slightly put off. And if it's so disheartening to read the comments, then you have just as much a choice
  • Bowler Hat Guy
    please, people can agree that a message against suicide is good, but if it's also loaded with gender stereotypes it's sorta bad
  • stetsonsarecool
    not to take minutes and minutes to read them just as much as they had a choice on whether or not to post them.
  • chocodicks
    stetsonsarecool: I'd like to point out that it's impossible to know what the comments are going to look like without reading them.
  • Meza
  • Kira J. Lane is
    sex, travel, and education a gender stereotype?
  • Kira J. Lane
    One typically attributed to women?
  • Chanfing
    sun_cosmos: Seems to me you're looking pretty hard for reasons to be offended.
  • Pie
    Wow what the fuck happened in this plurk
  • w-в-х
    so then you don't agree that the message is good.
  • Kira J. Lane
    That those are things women should be encourage to have in their lives?
  • eat a dick
    can we just agree to disagree here
  • stetsonsarecool
    It's impossible, but it's not anyone's fault if you don't know by now a post at this level is going to have some commenters who take issue
  • ᴡʀᴀᴛʜɪᴏɴ。
    i'm sorry, but the examples given are only "stereotyping" if you look at it from a heteronormative point of view
  • eat a dick
    some people are made uncomfortable by the examples given by the writer/assumptions the writer made. some people aren't.
  • ᴡʀᴀᴛʜɪᴏɴ。
    marriage does not automatically mean a hetero marriage. having kids could mean insemination
  • chocodicks
    Or adoption. Also trans women exist.
  • eat a dick
    if you can assume people don't assume heteronormative, even in progressive/liberal views
  • eat a dick
    you are a spectacular fucking human being and i applaud you
  • Pie
    Someone might have already said this, I am not about to go back and reread all of this but
  • Chanfing
    But guys, we're still erasing asexuals. OP was such a dirty bigot.
  • Kira J. Lane
    I think the reason there's fighting is that people get all offended up in things so often anymore that even if you agree with the basic
  • Kira J. Lane
    issues they take issues with, the reaction is kneejerk kicking them in the face
  • ṧƴḱεṧ
    I personally disagree with gender roles. But I chose not to be offended because that is not the point of a message against suicide.
  • Kira J. Lane
    I agree 100% completely about stereotypes and how harmful they are to women
  • Pie
    It strikes me this whole conversation would not have sprung up if the example was not a woman. Kinda weird.
  • Kira J. Lane
    But I am so goddamn sick of seeing every single discussion made about that
  • Kira J. Lane
    When it may not be the main point
  • Kira J. Lane
    EVERYTHING swings back around to that
  • вuввlєgum rσck
    you can enjoy something while finding it problematic. why didn't the discussion end there?
  • eat a dick
    Jaydeis: if the example wasn't a woman chances are the writer wouldn'
  • eat a dick
    whoops entered too soon
  • вuввlєgum rσck
    why is there 500 comments of people basically saying the same shit? intentions don't make a message okay. but the message overall
  • Kira J. Lane
    And even though those are issues I care about, it's tiring.
  • eat a dick
    writer wouldn't have made the same comparisons.
  • Pie
    True.
  • The Gentleman
    The POINT is your words can help or hurt a person
  • The Gentleman
    and this plurk has exploded into hurtful abusive comments
  • The Gentleman
    I don't care what anyone's offense is to it, or if they're offended at all
  • Bowler Hat Guy
    if someone hadn't called everyone assholes who had actual thought out things to say about the damn thing
  • Pie
    Seriously though I'm kinda boggling that things got off the track this far
  • вuввlєgum rσck
    this plurk is legitimately amazing. stop. stop! it's fine to be uncomfortable with it and point out why.
  • Bowler Hat Guy
    and society takes a heteronormative viewpoint, predominantly, it's basically hard to escape it, though it would be nice to
  • chocodicks
    One person called people assholes. You latched onto that and are acting like everyone disagreeing with you did so.
  • The Gentleman
    It's just killing me that I made this as a feel good, "realize that what you're saying could cause harm" plurk
  • The Gentleman
    and people are tearing into each other
  • chocodicks
    The word "asshole" in this plurk appears the MOST in YOUR comments.
  • Pie
    Yes
  • Pie
    That is the definition of irony
  • вuввlєgum rσck
    p sure we get the problems with the assumptions in the message. p sure that's been hashed out 10000 times already.
  • Pie
    ... I think.
  • chocodicks
    Yes Ed. I'm sorry, I shouldn't be here.
  • Kira J. Lane
    I'm tearing into their opinions. Never said a word against them as a person.
  • The Gentleman
    unless you have a new point to make, ti's redundant to keep going back and repeating the same thing over and over again
  • вuввlєgum rσck
    seriously. whatever you need to tear into has been torn into. anyone who doesn't get something by now?
  • chocodicks
    Basically redundant is this entire plurk
  • Bowler Hat Guy
    I didn't say anyone was an asshole. yeah, one person came in and said people having a civil discussion were assholes. on a post about being
  • вuввlєgum rσck
    i think the point has been made. and then driven into the ground.
  • Bowler Hat Guy
    nice to people. which is pretty ironic.
  • chocodicks
    "This hijacking is hurtful" "Yeah but stereotypes are bad" "We agree but your hijacking is hurtful" "Why dont you think stereotypes are bad"
  • chocodicks
    That's basically this entire plurk
  • The Gentleman
    SO WE ALL AGREE THIS IS A BIG CIRCLE OF NEVERENDING ARGUMENTS
  • The Gentleman
    We all have the power to put a stop to it
  • The Gentleman
    this is legit making me second guess replurking feel good things adn
  • The Gentleman
    that's basically the reason I CREATED THIS PLURK to share things.
  • вuввlєgum rσck
    well, i guess it really just means you have to examine the thing you share.
  • вuввlєgum rσck
    but sometimes people will disagree. you might not be okay with why they're disagreeing, but no matter how innocent the feel good
  • вuввlєgum rσck
    it's really just a judgment call, and adding disclaimers if you feel it's necessary.
  • вuввlєgum rσck
    but when you post things for general public discussion, you do implicitly ok this sort of discussion, and it's not a BAD thing by any
  • Kira J. Lane
    Because everything's problematic to someone.
  • Kira J. Lane
    I mean seriously. You could post a picture of a teddy bear.
  • вuввlєgum rσck
    Well, yes. Thin-- oh, don't demean the people who were offended. They had a right.
  • вuввlєgum rσck
    It shouldn't've gone on as long as it did, but they weren't wrong to say as much.
  • Kira J. Lane
    And someone will get upset that stuffed lions have not been adequately represented.
  • The Gentleman
    I posted a feel good coke commercial once and some people l said it was just a ploy for coke to make money
  • The Gentleman
    and that did not hit such a big shitstorm
  • Kira J. Lane
    Part and parcel of human nature that people get passionate about the things that matter to them.
  • вuввlєgum rσck
    corporate feel-goods are always going to have people going "no u."
  • Pie
    You were the one who posted the coke commercial? So you've plurked two things that made me smile, then!
  • вuввlєgum rσck
    sometimes discussions just go strange, unexpected places.
  • Kira J. Lane
    The problem here I think is the people passionate about social justice clashing slightly with the folks that care only about the issue of
  • Kira J. Lane
    suicide and kindness presented in this.
  • The Gentleman
    I don't know, from now on I'm making a disclaimer to keep negativity in your own plurks and hoping people can be trusted to do so
  • вuввlєgum rσck
    you obviously made a bunch of people happy! aside the discussion.
  • вuввlєgum rσck
    but you have to recognize that people will want to discuss. that's the risk you take when you open the floor to discussion.
  • Kira J. Lane
    It's not a bad disclaimer to have. I actually would have had no problems with people discussing how they felt stuff was problematic. Just...
  • The Gentleman
    I mind discussion that dissolves into insults and copy and paste responses
  • вuввlєgum rσck
    lol yes. i've had open discussions before and tried to direct them. i think allowing discussion to a point is a good thing!
  • Pie
    Yes, well this is a giant plurk. The system is probably struggling to handle it at this point.
  • вuввlєgum rσck
    but it is YOUR plurk! you have the right to tell people to gtfo.
  • вuввlєgum rσck
    you can choose to be a moderator. don't feel obligated to be one! but if that is what you wanted to do, you of course can. : )
  • вuввlєgum rσck
    i think you're doing good stuff. just critically examine the things you post, toss disclaimers if necessary, and minitor.
  • Kira J. Lane
    And I can say, honestly, if you had a disclaimer and what I wanted to say didn't fit what you wanted the discussion to be about...
  • Kira J. Lane
    I'd scarper and talk about what I wanted to talk about elsewhere. A lot of plurkers are willing to do that.
  • The Gentleman
    if that doesn't work I might just move on to responses disabled plurks
  • The Gentleman
    if people really want to address something they can pm me
  • ilovesatellites
    I shouldn't step in but I will with only two remarks.
  • ilovesatellites
    One is that -I- think its offensive to assume that marriage is only for heteronormative couples.
  • ilovesatellites
    Perhaps she would have walked down the aisle to a woman that the two FOUGHT to have marriage rights in their state.
  • ilovesatellites
    I know gays, asexuals, bi's, polys, etc and its not what society wants in the least but many of them yearn for companionship.
  • ilovesatellites
    If we're going to assume, please take in ALL angles of assumption. To think only 'normies' or straights want marriage and kids >
  • ilovesatellites
    or that marriage and family is only a 'societal ideal' discounts the many LGBTAs that are fighting that very notion.
  • ilovesatellites
    And two - A challenge to EVERY commenter in this thread.
  • ilovesatellites
    Instead of Plurk and arm chair activism - lets change this world for the better. If you took an hour tonight on this thread, take an hour to
  • ilovesatellites
    volunteer to a crisis hotline. Take a hour to clean the streets your friends walk in your town. Discussion is good and action is better.
  • ilovesatellites
    If you have strong ideals - stand up for them. Find a way to make a difference by giving back. I am a huge activist and am happy to help
  • ilovesatellites
    ANYONE find a way to make a change in their world - socially anxious, in a rural area, you name it. We CAN make a difference, I promise.
  • Bowler Hat Guy
    of course it's offensive that when people speak of marriage it is assumed they mean het marriage. But that is what they mean.
  • Terebells says
    hahayy buti nga
  • Bowler Hat Guy
    It is rather presumptive to assume that when people post online during their downtime they never do anything else.
  • ilovesatellites
    I don't think the majority of people ANYWHERE online are as active in their communities. For many thats because of not knowing where to
  • ilovesatellites
    start. Thats why I never said they ARE lazy I said I challenge everyone to go to the next step if they haven't.
  • ilovesatellites
    Many of my friends just dont know where to go IRL etc and fall into the pitfall of using the internet as a medium to express themselves.
  • ilovesatellites
    This will OFTEN lead to frustration as there's little outcome to feel productive over.
  • ilovesatellites
    Comments on Plurk are good but helping educate others, ourselves, and getting out there in some fashion does help make changes int he world.
  • ilovesatellites
    If everyone here is doing that then more power to them all! Thats awesome :-)
  • ilovesatellites
    But for those who arent, I'm still standing by my statement and my offer to help those who feel trapped by their town, the internet, etc
  • The Gentleman
    You're at the point now of stating opinions beyond generalization.
  • The Gentleman
    'but that is what they mean' is basically stating that anyone that ever speaks of marriage always means between one man and one woman.
  • The Gentleman
    I've tried not to get involved in anyone else's arguments but that really draws a line, for me.
  • Bowler Hat Guy
    It is what they mean 9/10 especially in instances where they talk about all other "traditional values" that go along with that ideal
  • Bowler Hat Guy
    I'm not about to hold out hope or give them the benefit of the doubt or be overly optimistic that they are being inclusive of everyone
  • Bowler Hat Guy
    I also assume they mean marriage between two people and not polygamy
  • The Gentleman
    and you're in your right to assume whatever you want, that's fine with me I didn't get into that debate for a reason
  • The Gentleman
    but it's over and I intend to keep it that way
  • вuввlєgum rσck
    wow it's like no one understood the point of "everything you said has been said already and you're being redundant"
  • Bowler Hat Guy
    You can't wish bias away. Discussion can be a strong force for change and action. Emphasis on <i>can</i>, obviously.
  • вuввlєgum rσck
    ..... what did what i just said have to do with bias..... also, seriously. shh. it's been said. we get it.
  • The Gentleman
    No it was directed at me for saying that not everyone referring to marriage is speaking of heteronorm marriages
  • Bowler Hat Guy
    yes, I swear the only time it didn't work before was when I put in an extra slash idk
  • вuввlєgum rσck
    oh, no worries. |D i just thought you didn't know! it's nbd.
  • Venonononono
    I want to thank the person who orginally posted this
  • Venonononono
    as a girl struggling with suicidal thoughts and stuff myself...... I don't think the original message was lost or dilluted.
  • Venonononono
    (Until I found the comments. xD )
  • Venonononono
    ... Just thought you'd like to know, y'know, it did things.
  • Venonononono
    And I think it will still do things because even if it can be worded better?
  • Venonononono
    and it is an extremely important one
  • The Gentleman
    I am glad for everyone that appreciates it, so thank you for the comment!
  • Venonononono
    No problem!!! I hope at base people just get the core message here
  • Venonononono
    'Cause that's what's important.
  • ѕeer oғ voιd
    I can't even express my feelings on this. And it hurts because people need to see this to understand and I know some folks won't but
  • Venonononono
    because i can't hug you through the internet
  • ѕeer oғ voιd
    Just like, I am going to hold on to the hope that one day people who tell others these things- will wake up. And even if they don't go out
  • ѕeer oғ voιd
    to help prevent things like this- they learned that its a bad things to do.
  • ѕeer oғ voιd
    Its a unrealistic one, but darn it I like it.
  • sunshine
    I think this plurk can be renamed "when sjw's attack". whoa.
  • вuввlєgum rσck
    desidesidesi: Let's not. The concerns were legitimate. The discussion went on too far/too long, but it wasn't an invalid discussion.
  • Harpie Jar
    Transmutedself I'm really sorry the comments and resulting discussion went so far off the mark. This is a really great plurk, and the
  • Harpie Jar
    message definitely wasn't diluted even through the arguments
  • Harpie Jar
    thanks for posting it <3
  • The Gentleman
    I am really glad that despite the comments people are still enjoying this

Please sign in or register to plurk response.

Shared by 130 people:

Loading...

Favored by 64 people:

Loading...

Ads