Jane Chin asks Sep 01, 2008 08:30PM for your serious tips on dealing with backstabbing coworkers (I get emails from professionals about this problem via my career website)!
Jane Chin Sep 01, 2008 08:34PM I agree, David! Realistically though, it is hard to rise about the anger of a betrayal at work for many.
Jane Chin Sep 01, 2008 08:33PM (also: I'll be adding Plurkers' tips with your links on this site: www.backstabbingcoworkers.com)
Jane Chin Sep 01, 2008 08:39PM Yep! That was my #1tip on dealing with a backstabber: keep your emotions to yourself! (I give 6 tips total)
Despil says Sep 01, 2008 08:38PM seriously what DavidBridger said makes a lot of sense. Also I found that people can't handle when they sense that for you
Despil Sep 01, 2008 08:41PM it's not the end of life and universe. it takes away the sweetness of being a weasely prick.
DebInAustin says Sep 01, 2008 08:41PM a boss who had left our dept. was still trying to influence our decision making and sent a fax to this co-worker I found it by accident and
DebInAustin says Sep 01, 2008 08:40PM turned around and faxed it to the new boss' private fax line. He didn't know who faxed it to him, but came down to our office in a hurry.
DebInAustin says Sep 01, 2008 08:42PM I am not saying that was the most constructive thing to do, but felt it necessary to let the new boss know what was up.
Jane Chin Sep 01, 2008 08:41PM DebInDenver you did the right thing! that person was subverting and poisoning the workplace
Jane Chin Sep 01, 2008 08:42PM here's my website reminder: REMEMBER: If your workplace is full of backstabbing coworkers, it means that backstabbing works at this company.
Jane Chin Sep 01, 2008 08:42PM You are in a toxic company. Polish your interview skills, update your resume, and get the heck out of there!"
DebInAustin says Sep 01, 2008 08:46PM the sad thing is, I have seen this at a number of companies/organizations. I can see how institutional culture is top down.
Despil says Sep 01, 2008 08:43PM janechin absolutely, selfpreservation and survival instincts should play an important role in your life - private and professional
Jane Chin Sep 01, 2008 08:46PM yep, that's why I say if there are lots of backstabbing behavior, it means it works at this company and is the way to get ahead! leave!
DebInAustin says Sep 01, 2008 08:47PM I see so many people who let themselves get sandbagged by this toxicity and never make it out, the get depressed and start to believe there
DebInAustin says Sep 01, 2008 08:47PM is nothing better out there. Energy vampires take hold of them...
LaShae is Sep 01, 2008 08:46PM seeing that I made the right decision to leave when I did, the one co-worker who backstabbed viciously is now Senior Analyst over dept.
DebInAustin says Sep 01, 2008 08:46PM that's terrible LaShae. You guys know about Bob Sutton's blog, don't you?
Jane Chin Sep 01, 2008 08:49PM oh man, ItyBites i'm sorry to hear it! that's why my tip#5 is about saving yourself an ulcer....
DebInAustin says Sep 01, 2008 08:47PM Bob Sutton wrote the "No Assholes Rule" his passion is trying to get a--- out of the work place. He has a top ten list of what you should do
DebInAustin says Sep 01, 2008 08:48PM in that environment. Let me get you the link. His first piece of advice is to get out of there.
DebInAustin says Sep 01, 2008 08:52PM this is his post on doing a reverse background check on potential employers is.gd/27t2
DebInAustin says Sep 01, 2008 08:53PM yeah. I love this guy and the fact that he takes a leadership role in the topic. He works at Stanford's Design school of all places.
DebInAustin says Sep 01, 2008 08:58PM a young alumni from my school just used it after I recommended it. She used for several employers and got a lot of great info. Really helped
DebInAustin says Sep 01, 2008 09:06PM I think it takes some skill to illicit info from people, but if you see a high turnover rate, then you know something is up & don't need to
LChamp says Sep 01, 2008 09:06PM geez...I could have written that book...and I retired in 1996. Nothing has changed much since I went up through the ranks. I used to
LChamp says Sep 01, 2008 09:09PM lecture about the 2 organizations in a corp...the formal and the informal...the key was to get your informal organization strong.
LChamp says Sep 01, 2008 09:10PM when I became senior manager and later president, I identified and used the informal organization to achieve good results
onepinktee Sep 01, 2008 09:33PM I totally agree - you need an ally who will watch your back. And document, document, document.
LaShae says Sep 01, 2008 09:46PM yes and sum up verbal conversations in email for confirmation and send before EOD, preferably right after convo w/ backstabber
DebInAustin says Sep 01, 2008 09:49PM I am with onepinktee. I document *everything* that comes from doing political work too.
LaShae Sep 01, 2008 09:49PM also have witnesses or do what I did my final few weeks there, I took my voice recorder into the meetings and made it *very* visible
LaShae Sep 01, 2008 10:56PM prbly *I* created more drama than necessary w/ this being my first *real* large corporate job and w/ people fired daily for minor stuff