JaneChinasksdo you believe that each of us has 'a' (as in 'one') life purpose? i used to think so and spent much effort looking; now i'm not sure.
posted on August 10, 2008 at 08:15PM
305 responses
to this plurk.
August 10, 2008 at 20:16ThoughtWrongthinksthat we actually have many. I have a kid and family and I know that is one of mine for sure
August 10, 2008 at 20:16ThoughtWronghowever I know that there is more that I must be doing and growing upon in order to achieve a higher understanding of the things that be
August 10, 2008 at 20:17ThoughtWrongIf in fact we do only have one life purpose then that purpose would have to be "our entire life"
August 10, 2008 at 20:17JaneChinthoughtwrong I think we have many as well, but often we are led to believe there is 'ONE calling', therefore attempt to find what this is
August 10, 2008 at 20:18rosasaysaysI agree w/thoughtwrong that we have many. Human beings have amazing capacity and abundance
August 10, 2008 at 20:19rosasaysaysjanechin I give people "calling coaching" but w/intention to help them focus and enjoy their current passions, not to restrict them
August 10, 2008 at 20:20ablereachsaysI've had a few, & right now have lost track. Maybe that means I'm between "one" purposes, or maybe my meaning of life gene is on sabbatical
August 10, 2008 at 20:20JaneChinrosasay i used to provide "core essence coaching", which i learned from someone who created process to identify a person's "core essence"
August 10, 2008 at 20:21ablereachsaysI do think we're generally healthier when we have a guiding center
August 10, 2008 at 20:21JaneChinit sounds similar to your aim as well, to focus on current passions
August 10, 2008 at 20:21sonnygilli don't think we have one purpose in life. i dont expect to have one sole purpose in life but many that can effect myself and others equally
August 10, 2008 at 20:22rosasaysayskinda connected to that other talk-story we had about remaining present vs eternally onto the next thing
August 10, 2008 at 20:21JaneChinok guys then help me understand this: why are we conditioned to ask this question "what should I do with my life and how do I get there?"
August 10, 2008 at 20:22JaneChindon't you think implicit in this question is "the one thing to do that is RIGHT" if not doing it, then you're not living your potential?
August 10, 2008 at 20:24ThoughtWrongwell what you should do with your life is a great question because if you do nothing with it then was it not a waste
August 10, 2008 at 20:23ThoughtWronghowever "What should I do with my life never implies that there is only one thing you should be doiung
August 10, 2008 at 20:24ThoughtWrongex: What should I do with my life. Well I want to have kids, get married move to california have a great job as a computer guru, etc
August 10, 2008 at 20:26rosasaysaysthestrangers Aloha. Your "cultural thing" comment is interesting to me: Can you share more?
August 10, 2008 at 20:26ThoughtWrongthinks"What should I do with my life" translates to "What are my short, medium, and longterm goals" thats GOAL**S** with a plural
August 10, 2008 at 20:27Glyphrunnersayswe're raised from birth to be better and more advanced than our parents. They demand that we find our way and calling to be better than they
August 10, 2008 at 20:26JaneChinthoughtwrong, did you come to this multi-goal conclusion for yourself, or did you understand that the question is about multiple goals?
August 10, 2008 at 20:27Glyphrunnersayspersonally, I have been searching for my purpose beyond raising my daughter. I don't seem to really have one. I don't impact the world.
August 10, 2008 at 20:27JaneChinrosasay i was also curious about the cultural aspect, because that can be very influential.
August 10, 2008 at 20:29JaneChinglyphrunner you don't think that raising your child is a critical and extremely importance purpose in itself? (i'm asking also as a new mom
August 10, 2008 at 20:29JaneChindealing with a transitioning identity from career/bizwoman to new mom)
August 10, 2008 at 20:30JaneChinsonnygill I agree with your take on it as well - many purpose
August 10, 2008 at 20:30rosasaysaysglyphrunner I think you probably impact the world more than you realize, e.g. as Jane says about child-raising, & so many more ways
August 10, 2008 at 20:30Glyphrunnersaysoh no, I definitely think that's extremely important, but it has really become my one and only purpose: provide for and raise daughter.
August 10, 2008 at 20:30sonnygillagrees with thestrangers - its a part of the 'plan' and what we're 'supposed' to do
August 10, 2008 at 20:30JaneChinthestrangers thank you for bringing this point! US is indeed very identity focused. Can you give some examples of other cultures and how
August 10, 2008 at 20:29JaneChinthey may answer this question (or if they even need to ask the question)
August 10, 2008 at 20:30JaneChinrosasay but I understand where glyphrunner is coming from. it has been ridiculous for me when my identity suddenly changed from
August 10, 2008 at 20:31JaneChin"head of corp" to "mom 1.0"
August 10, 2008 at 20:31sonnygilldoesnt mean you're not living to your potential if you don't follow a specific plan but you're just taking your own route.
August 10, 2008 at 20:32Glyphrunnersaysunless she or one of her descendants does something amazing or life/world altering, I can't see that I've done much for the world.
August 10, 2008 at 20:31ThoughtWrongsayswell janechin, I just know that in the beginning you asked why we are set to chose only one life purpose
August 10, 2008 at 20:32ThoughtWrongsaysthen you say the comment of "what should I do with my life?" I see that as asking what are my goals in life
August 10, 2008 at 20:33gwfrink3sayscan we not seek to be "centered," yet practice acceptance, so that we may serve many purposes, as they emerge?
August 10, 2008 at 20:33ThoughtWrongsaysand that in retrospectnever asks for only one. had you said "what one thing should I do with my life?" that would be a different story
August 10, 2008 at 20:32JaneChinsonnygill in the US society though, "having a plan" is almost expected. if you don't have a plan, then people will think you're lazy or
August 10, 2008 at 20:34JaneChinglyphrunner the challenge though, is that sometimes we are catalysts for other people doing amazing things, and we may never even know it.
August 10, 2008 at 20:34ThoughtWrongsays"If you fail to plan, you plan to fail"
August 10, 2008 at 20:33ThoughtWrongsays^^true in most cases^^\
August 10, 2008 at 20:34rosasaysaysthank you for the insight thestranger - I have Russian ancestors! It is true that the "American dream" pushes accomplishment
August 10, 2008 at 20:35JaneChinthoughtwrong I see how you're interpreting it. When I first saw the question, though, I thought about "one overarching thing in life"
August 10, 2008 at 20:35JaneChinversus many goals. perhaps up to individual interpretation of question?
August 10, 2008 at 20:36JaneChingwfrink3 i have a feeling it's hard to be "centered" when we are conditioned in a society to be "self-centered"
August 10, 2008 at 20:36JaneChinthestrangers when you say there is less compartmentalization, do you mean people see their work=life?
August 10, 2008 at 20:38rosasaysaysre identity change JaneChin tell me about it! Must say you have "worn it well" my friend
August 10, 2008 at 20:43rosasaysaysgwfrink3 you have a good point about acceptance... it is an abundance and not scarcity mentality. "And" instead of "either/or"
August 10, 2008 at 20:45JaneChinsaysablereach perhaps you are in transition and therefore "state of formlessness"
August 10, 2008 at 20:46JaneChinsaysrosasay the identity change was when I decided to spend 1 year and participate in bb's life. as result, made drastic cuts to biz life.
August 10, 2008 at 20:46JaneChinsaysalthough i chose, i quickly realized how ingrained my "biz/career" roles were a part of my identity, including $ earned.
August 10, 2008 at 20:47JaneChinsaystalk about the "western, objective form of thinking"; a philosopher I knew said I was a master of it.
August 10, 2008 at 20:48JaneChinsays(the opposite would be the "eastern, subjective type of thinking")
August 10, 2008 at 20:49rosasaysaysjanechin One of the best gifts I ever got from my son was his statement that being a working mom made me the kind of mom he needed to have
August 10, 2008 at 20:51rosasaysaysthat work-family balance forces choices continually, and I think our kids watch how we make them versus what they end up to be
August 10, 2008 at 20:52rosasaysaysversus what the choice ends up to be that is, not the child!
August 10, 2008 at 20:52gasshosayslife purpose is on 1 level, more your external activity, production & contribution.
August 10, 2008 at 20:52gasshosaysyour gem is an essence, maybe a handful of qualities, with 1 or 2 that shine most.
August 10, 2008 at 20:53gasshosayshow your gem looks externally may change thru life, thus you may or may not have 1 purpose. but the gem qualities remain.
August 10, 2008 at 20:56rosasaysaysah gassho you seem to be taking us into the strengths-mgt, innate talent discussion now, another fascinating one to have!
August 10, 2008 at 20:56JaneChinrosasay I agree. children watch adults and either directly or indirectly adopt their values
August 10, 2008 at 20:58gasshosaysyes, don't know if it's mgmt. inborn qualities that certainly need to be owned. also more than strength or talent. more soul qualities.
August 10, 2008 at 20:58JaneChininteresting analogy with gems, gassho! i like it.
August 10, 2008 at 20:58rosasaysaysthat's what my son meant I think Jane: luckily, the work both I and their dad did gave my kids a healthy attitude about the workplace
August 10, 2008 at 21:01rosasaysaysgassho agree, thus I have always liked the word "calling" that Jane somewhat started us talking here with. it implies you must listen
August 10, 2008 at 21:00rosasaysays...listen to your own voice, own talent, own curiosity and imagination, own creative urge
August 10, 2008 at 21:02rosasaysaysmahalo thestrangers Now back to the mom thing, have to step away for a moment to put a load of laundry in!
August 10, 2008 at 21:04JaneChingassho perhaps we may confuse ourselves with what we're really looking for. gem qualities? or how the gem reflects in the outside world.
August 10, 2008 at 21:04JaneChingassho the gem talk reminded of a workshop I took years ago, it seems to be based on the DISC theory but the person used gems
August 10, 2008 at 21:05JaneChin(like diamonds, rubies, emeralds, sapphires etc)
August 10, 2008 at 21:04JaneChinoh wait, there are no diamonds (on purpose)
August 10, 2008 at 21:05JaneChinthestrangers it tries to describe your personal type based on a precious stone. for example if you are ruby then you would be this way,
August 10, 2008 at 21:07JaneChinbut if you are an emerald then you would be that way.
August 10, 2008 at 21:07gasshosaysyour gem(s) is thematic, archetypal, part of your essence. you may have a gem quality that makes everyone very comfortable around you.
August 10, 2008 at 21:08gasshosaysin the world that may translate as having a successful coffee house franchise. or you may end up a groundbreaking therapist. or both!
August 10, 2008 at 21:12gasshosaysthere may be, don't know one, but it's part of info that grows out of inner work teachings...
August 10, 2008 at 21:13gasshoasksdoesn't james hillman call it your daimon?
August 10, 2008 at 21:16JohnnyRokkitsaysI don't believe anyone has any specific purpose intended for us. Circumstances, motivation, happenstance is all there is.
August 10, 2008 at 21:19JaneChin(and not with a spiritual dimension as gassho may be talking about)
August 10, 2008 at 21:19JaneChinbrb I need to feed bb!
August 10, 2008 at 21:25rosasaythinksmy gem is a lava rock Like the thought of my essence being the aloha spirit...a good goal for me to have, always
August 10, 2008 at 21:25Moistressthinkswe have a purpose, but it is not always the same
August 10, 2008 at 21:52MyrnaslistsaysEckhart Tolle says are primary purpose is to be a shining light for the next person-doesn't matter what you 'do'(your everyday business is)
August 10, 2008 at 21:54Myrnaslistsaysits the same no matter-be sharing, caring and loving with compassion to all peoples of the world.
August 10, 2008 at 21:54Myrnaslistsaysprobably more than Tolle says that
August 10, 2008 at 21:54JaneChinTolle is a good representative for being present and with as little ego as humanly possible.
August 10, 2008 at 21:56JaneChini loved what he said to someone asking him (via O's webcast when i was following it) how being present jives with having goals and planning
August 10, 2008 at 21:56JaneChinfor the future (people tend to think one precludes the other)
August 10, 2008 at 21:56JaneChinand he said something like, to be able to plan for the future and be present while doing the planning, and without attachment to the future
August 10, 2008 at 21:57JaneChin(i'm totally butchering it, just how i interpreted the answer)
August 10, 2008 at 21:58LindaZsaysoh no... you ask this question... my niche when I am not around.-lol- oh well I promise to read later and respond to you all, xoxz
August 10, 2008 at 21:57LindaZsaysThe Purpose Connector
August 10, 2008 at 21:57JaneChinlindazimmer i thought your coaching specialty was something along these lines!
August 10, 2008 at 21:58JaneChinthe plurk will be around, some of us had life stuff to tend to so it's kind of like a revolving impromptu philosophy seminar LOL
August 10, 2008 at 22:09LindaZsaysI am a business coach whose niche is to take people through a process of 5 methods to find their life purpose, then I support them in...
August 10, 2008 at 22:10LindaZsaysbringing one of the 3 facets of purpose (which I call their purpose process) into their business and or their personal life.
August 10, 2008 at 22:11LindaZsaysThis will make their business life easier, probably more profitable, they will be happier, in alignments with what they do everyday... and
August 10, 2008 at 22:12LindaZsaysmost important they will feel freedom and totally self-espressed
August 10, 2008 at 22:13gwfrink3saysyes rosasay, it is an abundance/acceptance centeredness, in some regards an activist approach to Myrnaslist "shining light."
August 10, 2008 at 22:14LindaZmost people when they talk about purpose, are really talking about mission... while that is part of the equation there is more to it...
August 10, 2008 at 22:19IamGay!saysthis plurk reminds me of that song from Avenue Q titled "Purpose"
August 10, 2008 at 22:23LindaZI need to go back and read what each of you have plurked here, will do that overnight ... this is a conversation I would love to play in w/U
August 11, 2008 at 01:57DSNlife exists. what happens happens.
August 11, 2008 at 02:02DebInDenversaysI think we have multiple life purposes and that they may change with different phases of our lives.
August 11, 2008 at 02:46JaneChindarn if i had plurk years ago, i could have saved myself a ton of trouble and got my answers right here
August 11, 2008 at 18:29TheresaWhitesaysI believe so. janechin - yours may be to get the rest of the world thinking!
August 11, 2008 at 18:45Sir ProudgamerJane, I think the desire to be important is as strong a desire as the desire to be loved. Even if it just means being important to a few
August 11, 2008 at 18:45Sir ProudgamerThe idea that someone was created with a goal would aid the feeling of importance
August 11, 2008 at 18:46claricedesignhi Jane! you stole my question! Wasn't here, so now I have to read through another long janechin discussion!
August 11, 2008 at 19:16LivSimpl.comsaysSimilar to Abbreviated, I found it through my particular faith. I believe there is a God and he hasn't just left us down here...
August 11, 2008 at 19:17LivSimpl.comsays... but has a plan for us. As we work toward fulfilling that plan, we find purpose, happiness and direction.
August 11, 2008 at 19:24Sir ProudgamerThis is interesting, I think that the answer is going to vary from religion to religion
August 11, 2008 at 19:52GlyphrunnersaysI definitely do not see it as a religious question as I have no religion to speak of. I see it as a personal philosophy and priorities.
August 11, 2008 at 20:09Sir ProudgamerAllow me to clarify I do not consider this a religious question, however I think some religions will have a specific answer to this
August 11, 2008 at 20:45JaneChintheresawhite you may be onto something re: me getting people to think
August 11, 2008 at 20:46JaneChini also see it as a philosophical question, although given the nature of philosophy is to find the "truth" and religions claim to have the
August 11, 2008 at 20:46JaneChin"truth", they may be related and relevant depending on the individual.
August 11, 2008 at 21:34HopesaysYou know, I've spent most of my life thinking/feeling that, and feeling like I'm chasing my tail and am clueless.
August 11, 2008 at 21:36HopesaysCould this be why I rarely feel great happiness?
August 11, 2008 at 21:36HopesaysI've always had this feeling like I don't know what my purpose in life is.
August 11, 2008 at 21:47claricedesignI think purpose in life comes from within. What your core beliefs are, what do you want out of life, what is your nature. The job you get or
August 11, 2008 at 21:47claricedesignwhether you have children, take care of your parents, contribute to the world as a whole, is how you apply the purpose. Is your purpose to
August 11, 2008 at 21:50claricedesigndevelop something that will affect the world, or that will keep your family healthy and whole? Do you thrive energy and conflict, or are you
August 11, 2008 at 21:51claricedesignsomeone who is introspective and spiritual? How will you apply your nature? Purpose does not have to be one thing for now or forever.
August 11, 2008 at 21:52claricedesignIt can and probably will change and grow as you change and grow. I think frustration comes when someone is not fully in touch with who they
August 11, 2008 at 21:51claricedesignare, what's important to them as an individual, where they fit into the world or their community. Or if they are transitioning due to
August 11, 2008 at 21:51claricedesigngrowth, setback, internal or external change, or the end of a previous purpose.
August 11, 2008 at 21:53LivSimpl.comsaysI believe the answers to life - Where did I come from? Why am I here? Where am I going? - have been answered. Then again, I'm religious.
August 11, 2008 at 23:11LivSimpl.comsaysRe-reading that it may have come across as snooty - that wasn't my intention!
August 12, 2008 at 00:06HopesaysVery interesting conversation here, that's for sure. I needed this today, too.
August 12, 2008 at 00:09JaneChinHopeWilbanks part of the reason may be because you haven't yet decided what happiness means to you, or what purpose you will choose.
August 12, 2008 at 00:10JaneChinI think you raised a good point livsimpl - those who have a guiding principle via religion or spiritual belief free up that energy to do...
August 12, 2008 at 00:12JaneChinbut if you do not have this,or if you feel that purpose is something you "find", then you spend energy looking for it, or determining it.
August 12, 2008 at 01:03LivSimpl.comsaysSo Jane, if I understand you correctly, those who have a guiding principle/religion/faith are able to act on that...
August 12, 2008 at 01:04LivSimpl.comsays...while others are still seeking?
August 12, 2008 at 01:49JaneChinnot exactly; i am not sure religion precludes the desire to search.
August 12, 2008 at 01:48JaneChinbut it can reduce some anxiety and doubt during the search (i.e. god has a plan for me)
August 12, 2008 at 10:18HopesaysI agree with JaneChin. I am a deeply religious person, full of faith, but that hasn't stopped me from feeling like I'm missing something.
August 12, 2008 at 10:17HopesaysMy faith in God definitely secures me, though.
August 12, 2008 at 10:19JaneChinHopeWilbanks not to put thoughts in god's mind but... god did give man the ability to invent the word, "Why"
August 12, 2008 at 10:24DavidBridgersaysI believe God gives us free will and creativity, and encourages us to use them
August 12, 2008 at 10:30HopesaysI believe that, too, David. And I came back to say that I think a lot of my "issues" stem from the fact that I went from.....
August 12, 2008 at 10:32HopesaysBeing a very independent, in control of my world, kind of gal, to married, with 2 kids and a stay at home mom
August 12, 2008 at 10:32HopesaysI lost my independence and lost myself in the process
August 12, 2008 at 10:32HopesaysNow both are in school, and I'm in school, working on earning my degree so I can teach.
August 12, 2008 at 10:31HopesaysIn some ways, I feel like I am on the path to feeling like I have purpose again.
August 12, 2008 at 10:32HopesaysDoes this even make any sense?
August 12, 2008 at 11:08DavidBridgersaysmakes sense to me, Hope
August 12, 2008 at 13:40MatthewBennettsaysReally interesting Plurk guys. I've been thinking a lot about this topic for the last few days too (maybe it's the holidays) and came across
August 12, 2008 at 13:41MatthewBennettsaysan American called Rick Warren who talks about a 'purpose driven life' which I think you all might find interesting given the conversation
August 12, 2008 at 15:37LivSimpl.comsaysMatt - That's an excellent talk.
August 12, 2008 at 15:43LivSimpl.comsays(aside - I'm getting a weird error)
August 12, 2008 at 15:42LivSimpl.comsaysHopeWillbanks - my impression is that you see your identity as coming from your education/career...
August 12, 2008 at 15:42LivSimpl.comsays...not as a wife/mother. Is that accurate?
August 12, 2008 at 15:45HopesaysMaybe so. I think I've felt like I've been defined by my motherhood for so long that I lost *ME*.
August 12, 2008 at 15:45HopesaysI love being a wife and mother, but I want more out of life than just that.
August 12, 2008 at 15:46LivSimpl.comsaysConversely, then, are you defined by your career? Your ed degrees? Or is that *the* question?
August 12, 2008 at 15:48HopesaysI'd have to say no, since I don't have any degrees just yet.
August 12, 2008 at 15:49HopesaysThat's just it.....I don't know what defines me.
August 12, 2008 at 15:49JaneChinHopeWilbanks and livsimpl I've been dealing with this very topic this year; identity as wife/mother and where "career/biz" role fits
August 12, 2008 at 15:51JaneChinand I already KNOW that getting a degree doesn't make me get closer to life purpose
August 12, 2008 at 15:50JaneChin(much to my chagrin)
August 12, 2008 at 15:50HopesaysOi. Don't tell me that janechin
August 12, 2008 at 15:51HopesaysI think that's what I'm counting on....a career making me feel important/with purpose again.
August 12, 2008 at 15:51LivSimpl.comsays"The most important work you will ever do is within the walls of your own home."
August 12, 2008 at 15:54claricedesignI think a career can give your life purpose, depending on what it is and what it means to you.
August 12, 2008 at 15:53HopesaysTrue, LivSimple.com but sometimes you need more than that.
August 12, 2008 at 15:54JaneChinyou know what the funny thing is, is that I already know the answer, but doesn't mean I know how to execute on the answers that I know!
August 12, 2008 at 15:55HopesaysWhat happens when my kids are grown and gone? I'm left an old, angry woman b/c I lived my life feeling like something was missing?
August 12, 2008 at 15:54TeegsaysHope I have a degree, I am a wife and mother, and none of them made me content. My husband kept encouraging me to follow my heart...
August 12, 2008 at 15:55JaneChinI took this topic, wrote a speech in '07 and competed with it in a toastmasters competition, and the speech ended with my answers
August 12, 2008 at 15:56JaneChin(wanna see the speech transcript?)
August 12, 2008 at 15:56Teegand after trying writing (what everyone else wanted me to do), finally this year I decided to take my hobby and the one thing ...
August 12, 2008 at 15:57HopesaysI'd be very interested in hearing that speech Jane
August 12, 2008 at 15:57HopesaysSo what did you do Teeg?
August 12, 2008 at 15:57HopesaysMy husband encourages me too. I just DON'T KNOW what will finally ever make me happy.
August 12, 2008 at 15:56drb74saysnew spiritualists would say you have one purpose: to experience the highest vision of the grandest version of you, that you can imagine.
August 12, 2008 at 15:57drb74saysand then imagine higher
August 12, 2008 at 15:58TeegI couldn't give up, and turn it into a business. Friends say I'm doing what I was born to do, and they're right. I LOVE everything I do now.
August 12, 2008 at 15:58HopesaysMost of the time I feel like I don't have any direction in life.
August 12, 2008 at 15:57HopesaysThanks for sharing janechin
August 12, 2008 at 15:59JaneChin... "I am That I believe I am. My self esteem does not sway to criticism or flattery.
August 12, 2008 at 15:59Teeglaughs thought I mentioned (must have erased it) that the thing I couldn't give up was teaching about and studying social media.
August 12, 2008 at 15:59JaneChin" I have crystal clear vision of my true self even if I can’t see where life takes me.
August 12, 2008 at 15:59JaneChinI believe success and strength come from living in integrity. I am not here - as you are not here - to live up to expectations.
August 12, 2008 at 15:58JaneChin" I am here to experience and to enjoy life.
August 12, 2008 at 15:58JaneChin(skip a few stanzas)
August 12, 2008 at 16:00JaneChin"It took a decade for me to open my eyes and see my two selves. A false self that feeds in darkness,
August 12, 2008 at 16:00JaneChin"and a true self that gives the light of the heart.
August 12, 2008 at 16:03HopesaysI paused reading to come say that I don't think I have ever just sat down and wrote out my beliefs. Maybe that's a good place to start.
August 12, 2008 at 16:03JaneChincan be very helpful to do a self inventory HopeWilbanks
August 12, 2008 at 16:04HopesaysI also think I *really* need to first learn how to allow myself/what I do to be good enough.
August 12, 2008 at 16:04HopesaysI am VERY critical of myself and everything I do. And this came to light last week, when...
August 12, 2008 at 16:03HopesaysI made a 100 on a paper, but I still wasn't happy with it. My husband flipped out. "If you aren't happy with a PERFECT grade," he said....
August 12, 2008 at 16:03Hopesays"Then when will you ever be happy with your work?"
August 12, 2008 at 16:05HopesaysBut even though I made a 100 on that paper, I felt like it wasn't good enough. I didn't feel like I earned or deserved the 100.