| Jane Chin | asks | do you believe that each of us has 'a' (as in 'one') life purpose? i used to think so and spent much effort looking; now i'm not sure. |
Aug 10, 2008 -
08:15PM
| Jane Chin | asks | do you believe that each of us has 'a' (as in 'one') life purpose? i used to think so and spent much effort looking; now i'm not sure. |
| ThoughtWrong | thinks | that we actually have many. I have a kid and family and I know that is one of mine for sure |
| ThoughtWrong | however I know that there is more that I must be doing and growing upon in order to achieve a higher understanding of the things that be |
| ThoughtWrong | If in fact we do only have one life purpose then that purpose would have to be "our entire life" |
| Jane Chin | thoughtwrong I think we have many as well, but often we are led to believe there is 'ONE calling', therefore attempt to find what this is |
| rosasay | says | I agree w/thoughtwrong that we have many. Human beings have amazing capacity and abundance |
| AbleReach | says | I've had a few, & right now have lost track. Maybe that means I'm between "one" purposes, or maybe my meaning of life gene is on sabbatical |
| AbleReach | says | I do think we're generally healthier when we have a guiding center |
| Jane Chin | it sounds similar to your aim as well, to focus on current passions |
| sonnygill | i don't think we have one purpose in life. i dont expect to have one sole purpose in life but many that can effect myself and others equally |
| rosasay | says | kinda connected to that other talk-story we had about remaining present vs eternally onto the next thing |
| Jane Chin | ok guys then help me understand this: why are we conditioned to ask this question "what should I do with my life and how do I get there?" |
| Jane Chin | don't you think implicit in this question is "the one thing to do that is RIGHT" if not doing it, then you're not living your potential? |
| ThoughtWrong | well what you should do with your life is a great question because if you do nothing with it then was it not a waste |
| ThoughtWrong | however "What should I do with my life never implies that there is only one thing you should be doiung |
| ThoughtWrong | ex: What should I do with my life. Well I want to have kids, get married move to california have a great job as a computer guru, etc |
| rosasay | says | thestrangers Aloha. Your "cultural thing" comment is interesting to me: Can you share more? |
| ThoughtWrong | thinks | "What should I do with my life" translates to "What are my short, medium, and longterm goals" thats GOAL**S** with a plural |
| Maarmamute | says | we're raised from birth to be better and more advanced than our parents. They demand that we find our way and calling to be better than they |
| Jane Chin | thoughtwrong, did you come to this multi-goal conclusion for yourself, or did you understand that the question is about multiple goals? |
| Maarmamute | says | personally, I have been searching for my purpose beyond raising my daughter. I don't seem to really have one. I don't impact the world. |
| Jane Chin | glyphrunner you don't think that raising your child is a critical and extremely importance purpose in itself? (i'm asking also as a new mom |
| Jane Chin | dealing with a transitioning identity from career/bizwoman to new mom) |
| rosasay | says | glyphrunner I think you probably impact the world more than you realize, e.g. as Jane says about child-raising, & so many more ways |
| Maarmamute | says | oh no, I definitely think that's extremely important, but it has really become my one and only purpose: provide for and raise daughter. |
| sonnygill | agrees with thestrangers - its a part of the 'plan' and what we're 'supposed' to do |
| Jane Chin | thestrangers thank you for bringing this point! US is indeed very identity focused. Can you give some examples of other cultures and how |
| Jane Chin | they may answer this question (or if they even need to ask the question) |
| Jane Chin | rosasay but I understand where glyphrunner is coming from. it has been ridiculous for me when my identity suddenly changed from |
| Jane Chin | "head of corp" to "mom 1.0" |
| sonnygill | doesnt mean you're not living to your potential if you don't follow a specific plan but you're just taking your own route. |
| Maarmamute | says | unless she or one of her descendants does something amazing or life/world altering, I can't see that I've done much for the world. |
| ThoughtWrong | says | well janechin, I just know that in the beginning you asked why we are set to chose only one life purpose |
| ThoughtWrong | says | then you say the comment of "what should I do with my life?" I see that as asking what are my goals in life |
| gwfrink3 | says | can we not seek to be "centered," yet practice acceptance, so that we may serve many purposes, as they emerge? |
| ThoughtWrong | says | and that in retrospectnever asks for only one. had you said "what one thing should I do with my life?" that would be a different story |
| Jane Chin | clueless |
| Jane Chin | glyphrunner the challenge though, is that sometimes we are catalysts for other people doing amazing things, and we may never even know it. |
| ThoughtWrong | says | "If you fail to plan, you plan to fail" |
| ThoughtWrong | says | ^^true in most cases^^\ |
| rosasay | says | thank you for the insight thestranger - I have Russian ancestors! It is true that the "American dream" pushes accomplishment |
| Jane Chin | thoughtwrong I see how you're interpreting it. When I first saw the question, though, I thought about "one overarching thing in life" |
| Jane Chin | versus many goals. perhaps up to individual interpretation of question? |
| Jane Chin | thestrangers when you say there is less compartmentalization, do you mean people see their work=life? |
| Jane Chin | says | although i chose, i quickly realized how ingrained my "biz/career" roles were a part of my identity, including $ earned. |
| Jane Chin | says | talk about the "western, objective form of thinking"; a philosopher I knew said I was a master of it. |
| Jane Chin | says | (the opposite would be the "eastern, subjective type of thinking") |
| rosasay | says | that work-family balance forces choices continually, and I think our kids watch how we make them versus what they end up to be |
| rosasay | says | versus what the choice ends up to be that is, not the child! |
| gassho | says | life purpose is on 1 level, more your external activity, production & contribution. |
| gassho | says | your gem is an essence, maybe a handful of qualities, with 1 or 2 that shine most. |
| gassho | says | how your gem looks externally may change thru life, thus you may or may not have 1 purpose. but the gem qualities remain. |
| gassho | says | yes, don't know if it's mgmt. inborn qualities that certainly need to be owned. also more than strength or talent. more soul qualities. |
| rosasay | says | that's what my son meant I think Jane: luckily, the work both I and their dad did gave my kids a healthy attitude about the workplace |
| rosasay | says | ...listen to your own voice, own talent, own curiosity and imagination, own creative urge |
| rosasay | says | mahalo thestrangers Now back to the mom thing, have to step away for a moment to put a load of laundry in! |
| Jane Chin | (like diamonds, rubies, emeralds, sapphires etc) |
| Jane Chin | oh wait, there are no diamonds (on purpose) |
| Jane Chin | thestrangers it tries to describe your personal type based on a precious stone. for example if you are ruby then you would be this way, |
| Jane Chin | but if you are an emerald then you would be that way. |
| gassho | says | your gem(s) is thematic, archetypal, part of your essence. you may have a gem quality that makes everyone very comfortable around you. |
| gassho | says | in the world that may translate as having a successful coffee house franchise. or you may end up a groundbreaking therapist. or both! |
| Maarmamute | wonders | the same thing as thestrangers |
| gassho | says | there may be, don't know one, but it's part of info that grows out of inner work teachings... |
| gassho | asks | doesn't james hillman call it your daimon? |
| JohnnyRokkit | says | I don't believe anyone has any specific purpose intended for us. Circumstances, motivation, happenstance is all there is.  |
| Jane Chin | i think the one I attended was loosely based on this en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DiSC_assessment |
| Jane Chin | brb I need to feed bb! |
| rosasay | thinks | my gem is a lava rock Like the thought of my essence being the aloha spirit...a good goal for me to have, always |
| AsKatKnits | thinks | we have a purpose, but it is not always the same |
| Myrnaslist | says | Eckhart Tolle says are primary purpose is to be a shining light for the next person-doesn't matter what you 'do'(your everyday business is) |
| Myrnaslist | says | its the same no matter-be sharing, caring and loving with compassion to all peoples of the world. |
| Myrnaslist | says | probably more than Tolle says that |
| Jane Chin | Tolle is a good representative for being present and with as little ego as humanly possible. |
| Jane Chin | i loved what he said to someone asking him (via O's webcast when i was following it) how being present jives with having goals and planning |
| Jane Chin | for the future (people tend to think one precludes the other) |
| Jane Chin | and he said something like, to be able to plan for the future and be present while doing the planning, and without attachment to the future |
| Jane Chin | (i'm totally butchering it, just how i interpreted the answer) |
| LindaZ | says | oh no... you ask this question... my niche when I am not around.-lol- oh well I promise to read later and respond to you all, xoxz |
| LindaZ | says | The Purpose Connector |
| Jane Chin | lindazimmer i thought your coaching specialty was something along these lines! |
| Jane Chin | the plurk will be around, some of us had life stuff to tend to so it's kind of like a revolving impromptu philosophy seminar LOL |
| LindaZ | says | I am a business coach whose niche is to take people through a process of 5 methods to find their life purpose, then I support them in... |
| LindaZ | says | bringing one of the 3 facets of purpose (which I call their purpose process) into their business and or their personal life. |
| LindaZ | says | This will make their business life easier, probably more profitable, they will be happier, in alignments with what they do everyday... and |
| LindaZ | says | most important they will feel freedom and totally self-espressed |
| gwfrink3 | says | yes rosasay, it is an abundance/acceptance centeredness, in some regards an activist approach to Myrnaslist "shining light." |
| LindaZ | most people when they talk about purpose, are really talking about mission... while that is part of the equation there is more to it... |
| Bakla | says | this plurk reminds me of that song from Avenue Q titled "Purpose" |
| LindaZ | I need to go back and read what each of you have plurked here, will do that overnight ... this is a conversation I would love to play in w/U |
| DS♥ | life exists. what happens happens. |
| DebInAustin | says | I think we have multiple life purposes and that they may change with different phases of our lives. |
| Jane Chin | darn if i had plurk years ago, i could have saved myself a ton of trouble and got my answers right here  |
| Jane Chin | DebInDenver i agree with you |
| LivSimpl.com | says | Yup. |
| LivSimpl.com | says | (As in, yes, I believe there is a single purpose.) |
| Abbreviated | glorify God our Creator |
| Jane Chin | Abbreviated glorify in what way? |
| Sir Proudgamer | Nope to "be" that is what we are here for. Some people have driven themselves insane searching for more |
| Jane Chin | i wonder where this drive comes from, sirproudgamer |
| Sir Proudgamer | Jane, I think the desire to be important is as strong a desire as the desire to be loved. Even if it just means being important to a few |
| Sir Proudgamer | The idea that someone was created with a goal would aid the feeling of importance |
| beminedesign | hi Jane! you stole my question!  Wasn't here, so now I have to read through another long janechin discussion! |
| LivSimpl.com | says | Similar to Abbreviated, I found it through my particular faith. I believe there is a God and he hasn't just left us down here... |
| LivSimpl.com | says | ... but has a plan for us. As we work toward fulfilling that plan, we find purpose, happiness and direction. |
| Sir Proudgamer | This is interesting, I think that the answer is going to vary from religion to religion |
| Maarmamute | says | I definitely do not see it as a religious question as I have no religion to speak of. I see it as a personal philosophy and priorities. |
| Sir Proudgamer | Allow me to clarify I do not consider this a religious question, however I think some religions will have a specific answer to this |
| Jane Chin | theresawhite you may be onto something  re: me getting people to think |
| Jane Chin | i also see it as a philosophical question, although given the nature of philosophy is to find the "truth" and religions claim to have the |
| Jane Chin | "truth", they may be related and relevant depending on the individual. |
| Hope | says | You know, I've spent most of my life thinking/feeling that, and feeling like I'm chasing my tail and am clueless. |
| Hope | says | Could this be why I rarely feel great happiness? |
| Hope | says | I've always had this feeling like I don't know what my purpose in life is. |
| beminedesign | I think purpose in life comes from within. What your core beliefs are, what do you want out of life, what is your nature. The job you get or |
| beminedesign | whether you have children, take care of your parents, contribute to the world as a whole, is how you apply the purpose. Is your purpose to |
| beminedesign | develop something that will affect the world, or that will keep your family healthy and whole? Do you thrive energy and conflict, or are you |
| beminedesign | someone who is introspective and spiritual? How will you apply your nature? Purpose does not have to be one thing for now or forever. |
| beminedesign | It can and probably will change and grow as you change and grow. I think frustration comes when someone is not fully in touch with who they |
| beminedesign | are, what's important to them as an individual, where they fit into the world or their community. Or if they are transitioning due to |
| beminedesign | growth, setback, internal or external change, or the end of a previous purpose. |
| LivSimpl.com | says | I believe the answers to life - Where did I come from? Why am I here? Where am I going? - have been answered. Then again, I'm religious. |
| LivSimpl.com | says | Re-reading that it may have come across as snooty - that wasn't my intention! |
| Hope | says | Very interesting conversation here, that's for sure. I needed this today, too. |
| Jane Chin | HopeWilbanks part of the reason may be because you haven't yet decided what happiness means to you, or what purpose you will choose. |
| Jane Chin | but if you do not have this,or if you feel that purpose is something you "find", then you spend energy looking for it, or determining it. |
| LivSimpl.com | says | So Jane, if I understand you correctly, those who have a guiding principle/religion/faith are able to act on that... |
| LivSimpl.com | says | ...while others are still seeking? |
| Jane Chin | not exactly; i am not sure religion precludes the desire to search. |
| Jane Chin | but it can reduce some anxiety and doubt during the search (i.e. god has a plan for me) |
| Hope | says | My faith in God definitely secures me, though. |
| Jane Chin | HopeWilbanks not to put thoughts in god's mind but... god did give man the ability to invent the word, "Why" |
| Hope | says | I believe that, too, David. And I came back to say that I think a lot of my "issues" stem from the fact that I went from..... |
| Hope | says | Being a very independent, in control of my world, kind of gal, to married, with 2 kids and a stay at home mom |
| Hope | says | I lost my independence and lost myself in the process |
| Hope | says | Now both are in school, and I'm in school, working on earning my degree so I can teach. |
| Hope | says | In some ways, I feel like I am on the path to feeling like I have purpose again. |
| Hope | says | Does this even make any sense? |
| LivSimpl.com | says | Matt - That's an excellent talk. |
| LivSimpl.com | says | (aside - I'm getting a weird error) |
| LivSimpl.com | says | HopeWillbanks - my impression is that you see your identity as coming from your education/career... |
| LivSimpl.com | says | ...not as a wife/mother. Is that accurate? |
| Hope | says | Maybe so. I think I've felt like I've been defined by my motherhood for so long that I lost *ME*. |
| Hope | says | I love being a wife and mother, but I want more out of life than just that. |
| LivSimpl.com | says | Conversely, then, are you defined by your career? Your ed degrees? Or is that *the* question? |
| Hope | says | I'd have to say no, since I don't have any degrees just yet. |
| Hope | says | That's just it.....I don't know what defines me.  |
| Jane Chin | HopeWilbanks and livsimpl I've been dealing with this very topic this year; identity as wife/mother and where "career/biz" role fits |
| Jane Chin | and I already KNOW that getting a degree doesn't make me get closer to life purpose |
| Jane Chin | (much to my chagrin) |
| LivSimpl.com | says | |
| Hope | says | I think that's what I'm counting on....a career making me feel important/with purpose again. |
| LivSimpl.com | says | "The most important work you will ever do is within the walls of your own home." |
| beminedesign | I think a career can give your life purpose, depending on what it is and what it means to you. |
| Jane Chin | you know what the funny thing is, is that I already know the answer, but doesn't mean I know how to execute on the answers that I know! |
| Hope | says | What happens when my kids are grown and gone? I'm left an old, angry woman b/c I lived my life feeling like something was missing? |
| Jane Chin | I took this topic, wrote a speech in '07 and competed with it in a toastmasters competition, and the speech ended with my answers |
| Jane Chin | (wanna see the speech transcript?) |
| Teeg | and after trying writing (what everyone else wanted me to do), finally this year I decided to take my hobby and the one thing ... |
| Hope | says | I'd be very interested in hearing that speech Jane |
| Hope | says | YES, please!? |
| Hope | says | My husband encourages me too. I just DON'T KNOW what will finally ever make me happy. |
| Teeg | I couldn't give up, and turn it into a business. Friends say I'm doing what I was born to do, and they're right. I LOVE everything I do now. |
| Jane Chin | it's called "That I Am" www.peerlessprofessionals.com/that-i-am |
| Hope | says | Most of the time I feel like I don't have any direction in life. |
| Jane Chin | ... "I am That I believe I am. My self esteem does not sway to criticism or flattery. |
| Teeg | laughs thought I mentioned (must have erased it) that the thing I couldn't give up was teaching about and studying social media. |
| Jane Chin | " I have crystal clear vision of my true self even if I can’t see where life takes me. |
| Jane Chin | I believe success and strength come from living in integrity. I am not here - as you are not here - to live up to expectations. |
| Jane Chin | " I am here to experience and to enjoy life. |
| Jane Chin | (skip a few stanzas) |
| Jane Chin | "It took a decade for me to open my eyes and see my two selves. A false self that feeds in darkness, |
| Jane Chin | "and a true self that gives the light of the heart. |
| Hope | says | I paused reading to come say that I don't think I have ever just sat down and wrote out my beliefs. Maybe that's a good place to start. |
| Jane Chin | can be very helpful to do a self inventory HopeWilbanks |
| Hope | says | I also think I *really* need to first learn how to allow myself/what I do to be good enough. |
| Hope | says | I am VERY critical of myself and everything I do. And this came to light last week, when... |
| Hope | says | I made a 100 on a paper, but I still wasn't happy with it. My husband flipped out. "If you aren't happy with a PERFECT grade," he said.... |
| Hope | says | "Then when will you ever be happy with your work?" |
| Hope | says | But even though I made a 100 on that paper, I felt like it wasn't good enough. I didn't feel like I earned or deserved the 100. |
| Jane Chin | HopeWilbanks i'm learning to be satisfied with 80% |
| Teeg | "A cage. To stay behind bars until use and old age accept them and all chance of valor has gone beyond beyond recall or desire.” |
| Hope | says | That's my problem. I need to learn to be satisfied. I need to learn that it's "enough," whether it is or isn't |
| Teeg | It's something I hold on to when I start feeling the "justs": I'm just a wife, I'm just this, I'm just that. I refuse to live in a cage! |
| LivSimpl.com | says | For what it's worth, I believe motherhood is a divine calling. I have the utmost respect for women who sacrifice their plans/careers... |
| LivSimpl.com | says | ... to raise a strong family. |
| Teeg | says | Hope have you ever looked at Flylady.net? She has some good stuff on perfectionism: www.flylady.net/pages/perfectionism_review.asp |
| LivSimpl.com | says | It takes a lot of courage and love to do it. |
| Jane Chin | HopeWilbanks I understand what you mean, and you may not need to "learn", satisfaction, this is something you get to choose. |
| LivSimpl.com | says | Teeg But would someone feel like *just* a doctor/lawyer/profession if that were the case? If so, I think it's more a matter... |
| LivSimpl.com | says | ...of self-esteem than direction/purpose. |
| LivSimpl.com | Teeg Everyone should be able to follow their dreams. But, to me, my dreams aren't synonymous with my purpose in life. |
| LivSimpl.com | E.g. If I dream of running a marathon someday, or starting a multi-billion $ business, etc., that isn't my purpose in life. It's my dream. |
| LivSimpl.com | I hope that's not getting down to semantics too much. |
| Jane Chin | hm... then we need to define dreams and purpose, for some it's synonymous for others mean diff things |
| Jane Chin | purpose is like your "essence" and dreams are diff. ways you want to manifest or express your essence. |
| kingz jewel | i think we are all born with one major purpose, but with assigned missions to get that purpose fulfilled |
| SharonHH | says | I think we have a purpose; sometimes it's clear, sometimes not, but I think it also evolves with you |
| Hope | says | But no, I would never want them to grow up feeling like I feel. |
| Hope | says | And that's what scares me, b/c I've felt like this my ENTIRE life b/c I was never good enough for my mother |
| Hope | says | (Sorry if I'm driving this Plurk off-topic....don't mean to) |
| Jane Chin | HopeWilbanks not off topic at all, in fact, much of our self perception comes from relationships with parents. |
| Hope | says | That is my one and only fear....that I will inadvertently do to my daughter what my mom did to me. |
| Jane Chin | HopeWilbanks then your priority is to give yourself the same kind of love that you want to give to your daughter. |
| Jane Chin | let yourself off the hook sometime, allow yourself to not know the answer, aim to make a few mistakes on purpose. |
| LindaZ | says | I need help and it is totally in alignment with this thread, I am speaking on Thurs about my purpose coaching practice |
| LindaZ | I don't want to hijack this thread so please go to www.plurk.com/p/2gjbx |
| LivSimpl.com | wonders | if there's a limit to the number of plurks per thread... |
| LindaZ | You would really be helping me... if you answer the question I pose in that thread... I promise in the future to answer them... |
| LindaZ | maybe a plurkshop |
| LindaZ |  ... |
| LivSimpl.com | Teeg I see dreams as things that can be achieved and checked off, and a purpose as something that spans your life... |
| Jane Chin | lindazimmer i added to your new plurk. i thought about that question and didn't want to add another one to this; too much ground cover. |
| LivSimpl.com | ...otherwise when you build your billion $ company, or run your marathon, you're suddenly left without purpose. |
| Jane Chin | these are people who have"made it" with their passion (ex. artists, actors, etc who followed their dreams and got the big break), but this |
| Jane Chin | doesn't mean they are "centered" or "anchored". hence you see celebs like madonna getting into kabalah |
| Jane Chin | looking for a "higher" purpose, a place beyond just their "ego" self. |
| LivSimpl.com | Right. In general, I think people look for purpose/direction/happiness in places that can't truly give it to them. |
| LivSimpl.com | Money, fame, work... not that those things are necessarily bad, but they shouldn't be the reason for anyone's existence. |
| raspberryfox | wonders | if looking for 'a life purpose' takes me away from actually doing and achieving something important. |
| Jane Chin | raspberryfox yes, seeking can become a distraction from experiencing in some cases. |
| Jane Chin | MatthewBennett hold that thought, we haven't solved the world's problems! |
| ForgeAus | thinks | we probably create our own purpose... |
| Jane Chin | level of thinking, you become truly free, and therefore can choose your purpose in this "state" of freedom. |
| Jane Chin | here: tinypaste.com/739d7 |
| LivSimpl.com | But what defines a "higher level of thinking"? Isn't there always a new trend/philosophy just around the corner? |
| Jane Chin | this one has been around a while (anthroposophy); Steiner died in 1925. |
| Prairie | joins the conversation very late. Reading what people wrote. Fascinating stuff. Definitely finding a higher purpose for Plurking! |
| Prairie | wonders | if perhaps the purpose of life is to find one's purpose in life and strive to fulfill that purpose. |
| Prairie | says | at the same time, I don't think humans are simple enough to really have just one purpose? Unless it is one purpose "theme" with many facets. |
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