| Jane Chin | says | Happiness. Many want it, most don't define it, thus few who don't define it will ever find it. {Discuss} |
Aug 09, 2008 -
10:45PM
| Jane Chin | says | Happiness. Many want it, most don't define it, thus few who don't define it will ever find it. {Discuss} |
| DebInAustin | says | oh this is a big topic for me. I see so many unhappy people, usually in the workplace, that I often wonder what makes people happy and more |
| Jane Chin | DebInDenver from personal experience it's usually bc have not defined what "happiness" means for the individual. |
| DebInAustin | says | importantly me. One of my professors in grad school was a famous Chinese poet who lived in the US and had a Japanese wife (he had done his |
| DebInAustin | says | graduate work in Japan then moved to the US to teach. So he said as long as he had these three things, he would be happy: 1. His beautiful |
| DebInAustin | says | Japanese wife 2. His nice American home and 3. he could eat Chinese food any time he wants. |
| DebInAustin | says | I thought that was pretty smart. |
| Jane Chin | DebInDenver in one of my biz articles i cited chris rock re: what men v. women want. i thought it was very insightful. |
| Jane Chin | men (according to chris) want 1) food 2) sex 3) silence. women want: EVERYTHING. |
| DebInAustin | says | absolutely! |
| patricksweeney | says | i don't think we actually can even define happiness until we hit a certain age |
| Jane Chin | i found that if one's definition of happiness is vague and non specific, then more difficult to know when attained. |
| Jane Chin | in one of my talks i said "if you don't know what you mean by happiness, you wouldn't recognize it if it came up and slapped you in the face |
| DebInAustin | says | I heard Eleanor Gilchrist, a Southern author, once say, "My momma said, 'Ellen of course you can have everything, you just need to decide |
| patricksweeney | says | i am 28, married for 5 years, have two amazing sons, 5 and 3, and i still don't think i know the true meaning of happiness |
| Jane Chin | (and i'm saying this from personal experience of "the existential struggle"!) |
| DebInAustin | says | just how much of each one thing you can stand to have.'" I thought that was brilliant. |
| Jane Chin | DebInDenver that IS brilliant! |
| patricksweeney | says | i would say i am a happy guy, but i wouldnt say im content........yet at least  |
| Jane Chin | patricksweeney do you think you can enjoy life anyway, even as you still work on the true meaning (if you are interested in it at all) |
| DebInAustin | says | when I ran my last race if Vail, I thought to myself, upon reaching the summit, that this was true happiness- having the ability to run that |
| DebInAustin | says | far, reaching a remote place, and the stellar scenery. I thought, "it's a privilege to be able to do this." |
| Jane Chin | patricksweeney i'm surprised! for me, 'happiness is ephemeral, contentment lasts forever' |
| Jane Chin | (as i reference something i wrote in 2001) www.rateofattrition.com/2001/2001,10,15,contentment,forever.html |
| Jane Chin | DebInDenver did you touch upon happiness at that moment? |
| patricksweeney | says | JaneChin, yes definitely, i don't enjoy how i have handled myself up to this point in a lot of ways, but i love being.... |
| patricksweeney | says | a husband and father |
| patricksweeney | says | id actually rather not be able to say im truly happy, because i would get lazy then |
| DebInAustin | says | Jane, definitely, I was beyond thrilled. On my way back I plurked, "I ran at the top of the world today." |
| Jane Chin | do you think happiness leads to complacency? |
| patricksweeney | thinks | at least for him it does lead to complacency......not being where i want to be makes me work harder for it |
| patricksweeney | says | but i think i think too much |
| patricksweeney | says | my 3 year old has the right idea, he is a little genius, and we were fishing the other day |
| Jane Chin | DebInDenver for many, being with nature open them to that experience |
| patricksweeney | says | and he could see i had a lot on my mind, he puts his arm around me and says "dad, i know you have a lot of adult stuff" |
| patricksweeney | says | "but we are fishing.....enjoy it" it was so cute! |
| Jane Chin | Patrick I understand; I once thought the same way (happiness = complacency) thus never allowing myself to feel happy. |
| patricksweeney | says | my wife rags on me foor that JaneChin, she says i dont stop to smell the roses heh |
| Jane Chin | but now I believe that complacency = satisfaction at the ego-self level whereas happiness = peace with self and the world |
| Jane Chin | children are natural geniuses Patrick! |
| Jane Chin | (ok i need to go to costco with hubby to get bb formula bbl to catch up on this thread) I love what I've read from you both so far! |
| patricksweeney | says | especially these 2 characters |
| patricksweeney | says | they know how to enjoy everything  |
| DebInAustin | says | Jane I would say I am always happy when I am in nature and feel at peace. I grew up in a rural place. And while I think I have adjusted to |
| DebInAustin | says | city noises, every time I go backpacking I realize that a lot of tension disappears and I usually don't want to come back to Denver. |
| Jane Chin | DebInDenver I understand. My husband loves the outdoors and appreciates nature. I'm very much an indoors person but do appreciate as well. |
| affiliatecoffee | says | happiness - as much of a simple word it may be - yet the hardest to define. everyone has their own unique definition of happiness. |
| affiliatecoffee | says | for some materialistic things provide happiness, some feel the need to grow spiritually. |
| affiliatecoffee | says | may be by some self introspection, we will be able to find what truly makes our life complete, and gives us "happiness" |
| DaisyΜ∞n | says | Happiness - the feeling I have every morning when I wake up to the life I have been blessed with. No matter how the trials and tribulations |
| DaisyΜ∞n | says | fight against us, no matter how the *sunshine & rainbows* lift us up; it's the feeling in every moment that __I have this moment__ |
| DS♥ | has | yet to define happiness for himself. knows $ won't buy happiness, however, $ is required to by freedom from idiots... |
| Jane Chin | DevSpamNull actually, scientific studies have shown that a certain amt of $ is required for happiness (i.e. survival may be needed first) |
| Jane Chin | DavidBridger thank you! Most of us fail to appreciate the power of "every day is simply OK". we think we should want more and have more. |
| Jane Chin | I'm going to remember what you said about everyday being simply OK. |
| ethnicomm | says | happiness - you are in control of your own happiness - others cannot make you unhappy - it's when your expectations are not met that you are |
| ethnicomm | says | unhappy NOT their actions for they are independent of your life |
| ethnicomm | says | if you let others control your feelings, you will never be happy |
| LivSimpl.com | Happiness is having my 1 yr old son squeal happily, clap, and run up to me when I walk in the door after work. |
| kingz jewel | there is a difference between happiness and joy. JOY is perpetual while happiness is circumstantial. |
| ThoughtWrong | is | happy, The only thing that would make my life more complete is if I had all my bills paid and money woes were no more |
| johnlarkin | feels | happiness is mindfulness; when the past, present and future are as one; dying is not an issue; one is in the present; possessions irrelevant |
| Jane Chin | johnlarkin you said it well. For me, dying will be an issue of physical reality, but I'd fear it less. |
| Jane Chin | (by the way nice to see you on plurk! and thank you for your very nice email) |
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