Jane Chin shares Aug 05, 2008 03:56PM what I've been contemplating last week: Fame doesn't build your self-esteem; instead, fame tests your self-esteem. I really believe this.
JustJen Aug 05, 2008 03:59PM I completely agree. What happens when the spotlight is off is what defines who you are and what your character is made of
Jane Chin asks Aug 05, 2008 04:05PM have you all seen as i have that many still believe "if i'm successful then i'll feel better about myself" (or if i buy X or make $Y salary)
Jane Chin says Aug 05, 2008 04:05PM even though we all know this makes sense, social pressure makes us believe in the opposite. (at least I did and I was miserable)
pritcharddesign Aug 05, 2008 04:07PM yes, I know people who think that. It's a shame. They expend so much energy trying to get there when it won't bring happiness.
Myrnaslist says Aug 05, 2008 04:11PM "only way to achieve true joy and fulfillment is by becoming a being of sharing"
DaveWebb feels Aug 05, 2008 04:13PM that lots of fame & fortune can often lead to heartache for many people, because they have a hard time passing the test.
Jane Chin asks Aug 05, 2008 04:18PM then where is our disconnect? we intellectually know fame/$ doesn't lead to "fulfillment" at the deepest level, yet much of our behavior
LindaZ says Aug 05, 2008 05:40PM tied into one bundle pple think if they have fame, they will have more money and be wealthy... which as we all know does not always mean...
LindaZ says Aug 05, 2008 05:40PM magazines, tv and just watching others from the outside gives pple false impression of happiness and self-esteem... they think that the
LindaZ says Aug 05, 2008 05:41PM outside representation of a person's life is how they feel... as we all know it is not always the case
Jane Chin says Aug 05, 2008 05:52PM lindazimmer well said. based on how much TV people watch, it's hard not to have some of that message infiltrate.
gwfrink3 asks Aug 05, 2008 07:06PM drb74, does anything shine brighter than the hearth fire in a home where we love and are loved?
LindaZ says Aug 05, 2008 07:20PM the messages we receive from society are not all true... we grow up believing in fairy tales, for women some day our prince will show up...
LindaZ says Aug 05, 2008 07:20PM it is meant to be and we will live happily every after is another one... just like we will have self-esteem when we are rich & famous
LindaZ says Aug 05, 2008 07:22PM I totally agree with Jane's initial statement fame tests self esteem
LindaZ says Aug 05, 2008 08:50PM wait a minute... I celebrate men and think all the men in my life are kings... I just don't believe life is a fairy tale
Jane Chin says Aug 05, 2008 08:59PM drb74 but don't we assume a facade too? not at the same level as celebs, but c'mon, how often do we tell the TRUTH in a job interview (and
Jane Chin says Aug 05, 2008 09:00PM i mean ALL of the truth). like "why are you leaving your company?" oh... for growth opportunities instead of "my boss sucks"
Jane Chin asks Aug 05, 2008 09:00PM lindaZ do you think this message (re: waiting for prince) still rings true for today's girls? thought it wouldn't be as much as 20yrs ago
Jane Chin says Aug 05, 2008 09:03PM drb74 I can honestly say that at least 50% of my success is bc my husband's support (not $) and belief in me. He's my prince and rock.
Jane Chin says Aug 05, 2008 09:38PM drb74 I"m not sure I understand; do you mean your wife wanted to be "independent"?
LindaZ says Aug 05, 2008 10:00PM janechin U probably could answer that question better than me... my point has been that it is society's messages that has pple believe...
affiliatecoffee says Aug 05, 2008 10:04PM self esteem is required in the first place to get fame. after that,either it(self esteem) goes up or down-depends on the individual entirely
Jane Chin says Aug 05, 2008 10:51PM maybe we don't have the "right idea" about self esteem either. doesn't always mean "feel great about self". when i was suffering from
Jane Chin says Aug 05, 2008 10:53PM clinical depression, trust me, i felt like i was crap. but for some reason i didn't want to give up on myself either (came close). so if you
Jane Chin says Aug 05, 2008 10:52PM asked me if i had self esteem back then, i'd say "no" but in retrospect, maybe not giving up on yourself IS self esteem. not the "feel good