sugiggs says Sep 05, 2009 06:56AM 'If a house is divided against itself, that house will no be able to stand' - Mark 3:25
sugiggs says Sep 05, 2009 06:58AM Like it or not, conflict in marriage is simply inevitable. When you tied the knots as bride and groom, you joined not only your hopes
sugiggs says Sep 05, 2009 06:59AM and dream but also your hurts, fears, imperfections and emotional baggage.
sugiggs says Sep 05, 2009 07:00AM From the moment you unpacked from your honeymoon, you began the real process of unpacking one another,
sugiggs says Sep 05, 2009 07:00AM unpleasantly discovering how sinful and selfish each of you could be.
sugiggs says Sep 05, 2009 07:01AM At the same time, the storms of life began testing and revealing what you're really made of. Work demands, health issues,
sugiggs says Sep 05, 2009 07:02AM in-law arguments, and financial needs flared up in varying degrees, adding pressure and heat to the relationship.
sugiggs says Sep 05, 2009 07:04AM You argued and fought. You hurt. U experienced conflict. But u r not alone. Every couple goes through it. But not every couple survives it.
sugiggs says Sep 05, 2009 07:05AM The deepest, most heartbreaking damage you'll ever do (or ever have done) to your marriage will most likely occur in the thick of conflict.
sugiggs says Sep 05, 2009 07:06AM That's because this is when your pride is strongest. Your anger is hottest. You're the most selfish and judgmental.
sugiggs says Sep 05, 2009 07:07AM But love steps in and change things. Love reminds you that marriage is too valuable to allow it to self-destruct,
sugiggs says Sep 05, 2009 07:08AM and that your love for your spouse is more important than whatever you're fighting about.
sugiggs says Sep 05, 2009 07:09AM Married couple who learn to work through conflict tend to be closer, more trusting, more intimate,
sugiggs says Sep 05, 2009 07:10AM But how? The wisest way to learn to fight clean by establishing healthy rules of engagement.
sugiggs says Sep 05, 2009 07:11AM If you don't have guidelines for how you'll approach hot topics, you won't stay in bounds when the action heats up.
sugiggs says Sep 05, 2009 07:12AM Basically there are two types of boundaries for dealing with conflict: 'we' boundaries and 'me' boundaries.
sugiggs says Sep 05, 2009 07:13AM 'we' boundaries are rules you both agree on beforehand, rules that apply during any fight or altercation.
sugiggs says Sep 05, 2009 07:13AM An each of you has the right to gently but directly enforce them if these rules are violated. These could include:
sugiggs says Sep 05, 2009 07:15AM 4. We will call a 'time out' if conflict escalates to a damaging level.
sugiggs says Sep 05, 2009 07:15AM 6. We will never go to bed angry with one another. (sugiggs: I love this one)
sugiggs says Sep 05, 2009 07:16AM 7. Failure is not an option. Whatever it takes, we will work this out.
sugiggs says Sep 05, 2009 07:16AM 'Me' Boundaries are rules you personally practice on your own. Here some of the most effective examples:
sugiggs says Sep 05, 2009 07:17AM 1. I will listen first before speaking. 'Everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger' James 1:19
sugiggs says Sep 05, 2009 07:18AM 2. I will deal with my own issues up-front 'Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother's eye,
sugiggs says Sep 05, 2009 07:19AM 3. I will speak gently and keep my voice down. 'A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger' - Proverbs 15:1
sugiggs says Sep 05, 2009 07:19AM Fighting fair means changing your weapons. Disagreeing with dignity. It should result in building a bridge instead of burning one down.
sugiggs says Sep 05, 2009 07:20AM Remember, love is not a fight, but it is always worth fighting for.
sugiggs says Sep 05, 2009 07:21AM **Today's dare**: Talk with your spouse about establishing healthy rules of engagement. If your mate is not ready for this,
sugiggs says Sep 05, 2009 07:21AM Then write out your won personal rules to 'fight' by. Resolve to abide by them when the next disagreement occurs.
sugiggs says Sep 05, 2009 07:22AM *If your spouse participated with you, what was their response? What rules did you write for yourself?*
⊙▽⊙ says Sep 05, 2009 07:26AM tambah lama tambah susah. aku jadi inget ada film family ties, itu lucu banget, mereka suami istri ada perjanjian yg sblm tidur ga marah
