| sugiggs | says | 'If a house is divided against itself, that house will no be able to stand' - Mark 3:25 |
| sugiggs | says | Like it or not, conflict in marriage is simply inevitable. When you tied the knots as bride and groom, you joined not only your hopes |
| sugiggs | says | and dream but also your hurts, fears, imperfections and emotional baggage. |
| sugiggs | says | From the moment you unpacked from your honeymoon, you began the real process of unpacking one another, |
| sugiggs | says | unpleasantly discovering how sinful and selfish each of you could be. |
| sugiggs | says | At the same time, the storms of life began testing and revealing what you're really made of. Work demands, health issues, |
| sugiggs | says | in-law arguments, and financial needs flared up in varying degrees, adding pressure and heat to the relationship. |
| sugiggs | says | You argued and fought. You hurt. U experienced conflict. But u r not alone. Every couple goes through it. But not every couple survives it. |
| sugiggs | says | The deepest, most heartbreaking damage you'll ever do (or ever have done) to your marriage will most likely occur in the thick of conflict. |
| sugiggs | says | That's because this is when your pride is strongest. Your anger is hottest. You're the most selfish and judgmental. |
| sugiggs | says | Your words contain the most venom. You make the worst decisions. |
| sugiggs | says | (sugiggs: I hope I dont scare you to get married heheheh) |
| sugiggs | says | But love steps in and change things. Love reminds you that marriage is too valuable to allow it to self-destruct, |
| sugiggs | says | and that your love for your spouse is more important than whatever you're fighting about. |
| sugiggs | says | Married couple who learn to work through conflict tend to be closer, more trusting, more intimate, |
| sugiggs | says | and enjoy a much deeper connection afterwards. |
| sugiggs | says | But how? The wisest way to learn to fight clean by establishing healthy rules of engagement. |
| sugiggs | says | If you don't have guidelines for how you'll approach hot topics, you won't stay in bounds when the action heats up. |
| sugiggs | says | Basically there are two types of boundaries for dealing with conflict: 'we' boundaries and 'me' boundaries. |
| sugiggs | says | 'we' boundaries are rules you both agree on beforehand, rules that apply during any fight or altercation. |
| sugiggs | says | An each of you has the right to gently but directly enforce them if these rules are violated. These could include: |
| sugiggs | says | 1. We will never mention divorce |
| sugiggs | says | 2. We will not bring up old, unrelated items from the past. |
| sugiggs | says | 3. We will never fight in public or in front of our children. |
| sugiggs | says | 4. We will call a 'time out' if conflict escalates to a damaging level. |
| sugiggs | says | 5. We will never touch one another in a harmful way. |
| sugiggs | says | 6. We will never go to bed angry with one another. (sugiggs: I love this one) |
| sugiggs | says | 7. Failure is not an option. Whatever it takes, we will work this out. |
| sugiggs | says | 'Me' Boundaries are rules you personally practice on your own. Here some of the most effective examples: |
| sugiggs | says | 1. I will listen first before speaking. 'Everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger' James 1:19 |
| sugiggs | says | 2. I will deal with my own issues up-front 'Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother's eye, |
| sugiggs | says | but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? - Matthew 7:3 |
| sugiggs | says | 3. I will speak gently and keep my voice down. 'A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger' - Proverbs 15:1 |
| sugiggs | says | Fighting fair means changing your weapons. Disagreeing with dignity. It should result in building a bridge instead of burning one down. |
| sugiggs | says | Remember, love is not a fight, but it is always worth fighting for. |
| sugiggs | says | **Today's dare**: Talk with your spouse about establishing healthy rules of engagement. If your mate is not ready for this, |
| sugiggs | says | Then write out your won personal rules to 'fight' by. Resolve to abide by them when the next disagreement occurs. |
| sugiggs | says | ---end-- |
| sugiggs | says | *If your spouse participated with you, what was their response? What rules did you write for yourself?* |
| lunaphi | says | tambah lama tambah susah. aku jadi inget ada film family ties, itu lucu banget, mereka suami istri ada perjanjian yg sblm tidur ga marah |
| lunaphi | says | waktu mereka bertengkar, yg suami bilang, the agreement is off ^0^ |
| 朗拿甸奴 | says | haha. You are fast becoming the love expert on Plurk! |
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