/dev/codie
so, i got a religion joke for you guys. so if you are easily offended, mute it.
latest
/dev/codie A priest is sitting on the roof of his church during an epic flood, praying hard for God to save him.
/dev/codie At first a raft comes by and the rescue people tells the priest to get on the raft.
/dev/codie The priest says: No, my brothers, go save someone else, as God will save me.
/dev/codie The rescue people replies okay, and goes away.
/dev/codie Then a rescue boat comes by, and the rescuers sends a live saver to the priest, which refuses it, and replies again:
/dev/codie No, my brothers, go save someone else, as God will save me.
/dev/codie So the rescuers goes away to help someone else.
/dev/codie Then, a rescue chopper comes by and throws a rope to the priest, as only his head pokes out of the water. Grab that rope, Father!
/dev/codie Of course the priest to reply: No, my brothers, go save someone else, as God will save me.
/dev/codie Then, the priest drowns.
I'm Raven! that joke is actually a metaphor that most of the time we are saved through other people.
/dev/codie The priest ascends to heaven, and he's majorly pissed off of course. He kicks St-Peter in the shins and goes to see God directly.
/dev/codie He then meet with God and tells him:
/dev/codie You fucking asshole, I prayed and prayed and been faithful to you all my life and this is how you repay me?
/dev/codie And God to reply: First, you talk polite to me. Secondly, didn't I send you the rescue people like 3 times?
Annette Oh I heard this one. I giggled at it too lol
/dev/codie and dude thanks for ruining the punch! geez. 
MonroeJigsaw i knew this one....i just didn't wanna ruin the punch line 
/dev/codie yeah i know it's a classic oldie hehehe
MonroeJigsaw ooh i got one.... goes to post it
LindsayPinelli LOL that's cute
Rune ☆ Gaston silly 
Valiant says My Grandfather used to say: "Pray like it all depends on God and work like it all depends on you." I listened...
rev dot eponym I love that joke, but it's better if the guy is an Evangelical.
Freq agrees with rev
Becklyn LMAO
Becklyn that is hysterical
rev dot eponym It's also an allegory about how religion doesn't require you to literally believe that some imaginary force is gonna do anything for you.
Allegory says and if it does, it's going to work through mundane forces. the word "miracle" has been made to mean something so much more ridiculous than
Nanners© this sums up how I feel about this idea. 
Taki Kujisawa VWestland: I love that, your grandpa is a wise man ^_^
Hedgie Till Good one
Jacocalypse! a priest rides on his bike in the dark, with no lights on. a policeman stops him and tells him, it is dangerous to ride without lights..
Jacocalypse! the priest says.. oh no, its not dangerous, the lord is with me..
Jacocalypse! cop says: wait a minute, there's even two of you guys?
Saffie lol so true though!!!